Proud to be TJ's man

Ephesians 6:14 (ESV)  Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness…,

Many college students cannot bring themselves to say that the Holocaust was evil (see Bloom, p. 67). One student said (in Reader’s Digest  [Feb., 1998], p. 75), “Of course I dislike the Nazis, but who is to say they are morally wrong?” While these students deplore what Hitler did, they express their disapproval as a matter of personal preference, not as a moral judgment.

I wish that our cultural tolerance of sin and rejection of moral absolutes were only outside the church. But a study by George Barna showed that while only 28 percent of the general population expressed strong belief in absolute truth, among those who identified themselves as born-again evangelicals, the number dropped to 23 percent! (Cited by James Dobson, newsletter, Dec., 1991.)

If you have ever worked through one of the many personality tests, you will find some that have the strong response that they “know what they know, and they know what they do not know.”

It’s my hope that many Christians are able to ‘check off that box.’

When the apostle Paul tells us how to stand firm against these evil spiritual forces, he lists six pieces of spiritual armor to put on. Today we will examine the belt of truth and the breastplate of righteousness, which stand firmly opposed to the philosophical and moral relativism of our day.

1. To stand firm against the enemy, gird yourself with the belt of truth.

For the Roman soldier, the girdle or belt was a leather apron-like piece that extended down to the thighs, protecting the lower abdomen and other private areas. The soldier tucked his robe or tunic into it so that he could move quickly and without encumbrance in the battle.

The main idea of a soldier girding his loins was that he was ready for vigorous action. Paul’s point in telling us to gird our loins with truth is that we cannot be ready to fight the enemy if we are not strong and ready with God’s truth.

When Jesus was tempted by Satan in the wilderness, He used the same weapon that we have today: the word of God.

As the belt formed the foundation of the soldier’s armor, the truth is the foundation of the Christian life. This “truth” refers to the believer’s character as a person who can be relied on for the truth. It certainly also refers to the truth of God’s Word and his message in the gospel.

If we could not be absolutely sure of our faith, if we were not sure that Jesus is “the truth” (John 14:6), then there would be little use for the armor or in attempting to fight any battle.

God’s truth, as revealed to us through Jesus Christ, forms the foundation of victorious Christian living.

When the enemy, the father of lies (John 8:44), attacks with his lies, half-truths, and distortions, we believers can stand on the truth we believe.

The foundation for truth is the gospel, which centers in Jesus who is the embodiment of truth. As a result of our being new creatures in Jesus Christ through the gospel, we are to be truthful people.

But first, we need to answer the question:

Since God is the only essential reality in the universe, He is truth and the standard for all truth. Jesus referred to Him as “the only true God” (John 17:3).

If He is the only eternal, self-existent Being, then He is the truth, the only unchanging reality in the universe. He cannot lie.

The Hebrew word was often used of things that had proved to be reliable. Thus it often refers to God’s faithfulness to His covenant promises.

John 1:14 states of Jesus, “And the Word became flesh, and dwelt among us, and we saw His glory, glory as of the only begotten from the Father, full of grace and truth.”

Jesus said (John 14:6), “I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father but through Me.”

God’s Word is His revelation of truth.

Jesus prayed (John 17:17), “Sanctify them in the truth; Your word is truth.”

Paul referred to the Bible and its central message, the gospel, as “the word of truth” (2 Tim. 2:15). Therefore, any deviation from God’s Word is error or falsehood.

How do we put on the belt of truth so that we can stand firm against the enemy?

To stand firm against the enemy, gird yourself with the core truths of the gospel.

Paul writes (2 Cor. 4:4), “the god of this world has blinded the minds of the unbelieving so that they might not see the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God.”

While sincere believers differ over non-essential teachings, on the core truths of the gospel, we must agree.

If the enemy assails you with doubts, go back to the bedrock of the gospel: Who is Jesus Christ? Are His claims true?

Did He die for my sins according to the Scriptures? Was He raised from the dead as the many New Testament witnesses testify? Have I experienced the change from blindness to sight?

To stand firm against the enemy, gird yourself with truthful behavior. Paul applies it by commanding (4:25), “Therefore, laying aside falsehood, speak truth each one of you with his neighbor, for we are members of one another.”

2. To stand firm against the enemy, put on the breastplate of righteousness.

The breastplate covered the soldier from his neck to his waist, front and back. Thus it protected his heart and other vital organs.

In Hebrew thought, the heart represented the mind and will, and the bowels were the seat of the emotions. Thus the breastplate of righteousness protects the believer’s mind, will, and emotions, areas where Satan often attacks.

What is righteousness? I define it as “being right with God.”

“Righteousness” provides a significant defense; it gives the evidence that we have been made right with God and that this righteousness has been given us by the Holy Spirit. Believers have been made righteous through the blood of Christ.

We first learned of this concept when we were told that Abrahan “believed God and it was credited to him as righteousness.”

Satan is ready for battle at every turn, willing to hit us unfairly from behind if given the chance.

Righteousness is the opposite of Satan’s complete wickedness. Satan seeks to thwart righteous living.

When the enemy, the accuser (Revelation 12:10), tries to convince us that we are not really saved, that we just keep on disappointing God, and that we’re “poor excuses” for Christians, we can stand up to him because of the righteousness we have been promised through our faith in Jesus Christ.

“This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe” (Romans 3:22 niv).

How do we put on the breastplate of righteousness so that we can stand firm against the enemy?

(1). To stand firm against the enemy, put on the imputed righteousness of Jesus Christ.

Paul made the astounding statement (2 Cor. 5:21) that God made Christ, “who knew no sin, to be sin on our behalf, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.”

He wrote (Rom. 4:5), “But to the one who does not work, but believes in Him who justifies the ungodly, his faith is credited as righteousness.”

The glorious truth is that we stand before God clothed with the imputed righteousness of Jesus Christ. That is our only hope for eternal life.

But Satan comes and gets us to focus on our sinful behavior. “Look at how you just exploded in anger! Look at how you lied to cover your tracks! Look at how you lusted after that girl! Some Christian you are!” How do you answer him if his charges are true?

You answer by applying Christ’s imputed righteousness: “You are right, Satan, I did just sin. But my eternal life does not depend on my sinless behavior or perfect track record. I am trusting in the blood of Jesus Christ and His righteousness credited to my account. Take it up with Him!”

As we walk as God’s children in this world, as new creatures in Christ, we will be growing in conformity to God’s holy standards as revealed in His Word.

Fruit takes time, but there should be evident progress in holiness and obedience. If there is a gap between our profession of Christ and our practice, the enemy will use it to attack us.

————————————————-

It almost never fails, that when someone comes in for counsel, a certain verse almost always comes up.

Philippians 4:8 (ESV) Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

As Christians, we must learn to give our thoughts and emotions to God, and we must steer our thinking through verses like this one.

We are surrounded with gossip, innuendoes, lies, distortions, what we ‘think’ is true compared to what is actually true.

My dad taught me that when talking with children, to use a phrase “tell me the truth” is often difficult to interpret.

His advise? Tell me what ‘really happened.’

It almost always works.

We need us allow truth to change our mind and heart. It puts us in the correct ‘frame of mind’ to then tell God ‘what really happens’ in our life in order to get the cleansing and renewed ‘clean conscience.’

General Dwight D. Eisenhower said “War is a terrible thing. But if you’re going to get into it, you’ve got to get into it all the way.”

I sense that many Christians are defeated in their Christian lives because they are not seriously engaged in the warfare to which we are called.  What keeps them from using God’s power?

1. We don’t sense danger or recognize the power of the enemy.
2. We don’t have all the weapons. We have never been taught the significance and importance of those weapons.
3. We are untrained in the use of those weapons. Without practice, no soldier can be ready for battle.
4. We may be in a comfort zone. Perhaps We are nowhere near the battle or We are somehow compromising with the enemy.

Ephesians 6:10-13 (ESV)  ¹⁰  Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. ¹¹  Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. ¹²  For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. ¹³  Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm.

The word “finally” signals the beginning of Paul’s conclusion to his letter. At the beginning of this letter, Paul prayed for believers to know God’s “incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms” (1:19-20 niv).

The power that raised Christ from the dead empowers God’s people as they prepare for the spiritual battle they must face on this earth. The struggle occurs in the spiritual realm and must be won with spiritual weapons.

What might keep one from acknowledging this battle? Perhaps they came to Christ under a false “sales pitch.”

• They were told, “Jesus will solve all your problems.
• He will give you peace and joy.
• He will give you a happy family life.
• Come to Jesus and enjoy all of these blessings and more. He promises you abundant life.”

And so they signed up for what they thought would be a wonderful life of peace and happiness.

• All of those claims are true, but they’re only half of the picture. Jesus promised to give us abundant life (John 10:10), but He also said that He was sending us out as sheep in the midst of wolves (Matt. 10:16). That picture might not fit your idea of an abundant life!
• Jesus promised peace, but in the same breath He said that in this world we would have tribulation (John 16:33).
• He assured us of His love, but He went on to say that the world would hate and persecute us.

John 15:12-13 (ESV) ¹²  “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. ¹³  Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. ¹⁸  “If the world hates you, know that it has hated me before it hated you. ¹⁹  If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you. ²⁰  Remember the word that I said to you: ‘A servant is not greater than his master.’ If they persecuted me, they will also persecute you. If they kept my word, they will also keep yours. ²¹  But all these things they will do to you on account of my name, because they do not know him who sent me.

It is vital for our survival as a Christian that we realize that when we became a Christian, we were drafted into God’s army. Daily we are engaged in a battle with an unseen spiritual enemy that seeks to destroy us. Otherwise, when trials hit, you will think that something is wrong. You will wonder why God has allowed this. You won’t understand the reality of your situation.

When a man’s ministry is effective, the enemy will work overtime to bring him down. It may be through internal problems in the church or through key leaders who turn against him or through discouragement or through temptation to moral failure.

To be strong in the Lord, you must be in the Lord. I won’t belabor the point, but I need to say that Paul’s command to be strong in the Lord rests on his first two chapters, where he makes it clear what it means to be in the Lord. To sum up his treatment, he wrote (2:8-9), “For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; not as a result of works, so that no one may boast.”

To be strong in the Lord, you must know your own weakness.

This is a continual, lifelong process that begins at salvation. We cannot trust completely in Christ to save us until we come to some awareness that we are helplessly, hopelessly lost and unable to save ourselves by our own good works.

Our pride blinds us to our true condition. It makes us think that we have some measure of strength in ourselves. In reality, the strong Christian is one who has come to see more and more of his own weakness and propensity towards sin. That awareness drives him to depend all the more on the Lord’s strength.

To be strong in the Lord, you must know the Lord’s strength.

Satan is a powerful foe, but he is only a created being, whereas God is the eternal, almighty Creator of the universe. Christ has already defeated him at the cross and resurrection of Jesus (Col. 2:15).

(Genesis 18:14 (ESV) ¹⁴  Is anything too hard for the LORD? At the appointed time I will return to you, about this time next year, and Sarah shall have a son.”

Jeremiah 32:17 (ESV) ¹⁷  ‘Ah, Lord GOD! It is you who have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and by your outstretched arm! Nothing is too hard for you.

Standing firm against the enemy is the result of putting on God’s full armor.

It’s not a matter of “letting go and letting God,” where you are passive and God does it all. Nor is it a matter of gritting your teeth and doing it yourself, with occasional assistance from God. Rather, it is a blending of His power and our striving.

Putting on God’s armor means that in every trial and temptation by faith you appropriate Christ’s strength in place of your weakness.

By faith you cry out to Him for deliverance and strength to persevere. By faith you rely on His promises.

Stand firm against the enemy by growing in biblical understanding. Paul wrote the first three chapters of this letter to set forth the necessary doctrinal foundation of all that God has provided for us in Christ.

Strong Christians are doctrinally grounded in the truth of Scripture. Unless you know the Word well, as Jesus did when He defeated Satan, you will not stand firm in the evil day.

We fight a spiritual battle, but we might well ask, who is the enemy? It’s not the nonbeliever, although occasionally you will meet a person so full of evil and rebellion against God that he or she actually declares himself or herself the enemy of Christianity.

The secular media or world systems work relentlessly to undermine God’s truth, but they are not the enemy either, although they are often tools in his hands.

Our enemy is Satan and the spiritual “forces of evil.” Satan, the deceiver (Genesis 3), the accuser (Zechariah 3), the destroyer (1 Peter 5), is the adversary of our souls and of the souls of our friends and loved ones.

Our enemy is powerful, but he is also a defeated foe.

Paul states (2 Cor. 2:11), “so that no advantage would be taken of us by Satan, for we are not ignorant of his schemes.”

Satan launches repeated attacks on the credibility of Scripture, whether through evolution or by attacking the person of Christ. Satan lures us into sin by portraying it as pleasurable and by hiding its consequences. He uses discouragement, pride, selfishness, the love of money, lust, and many other traps to lure us away from the Lord.

Standing firm against the schemes of the devil means that we stand firm on the core doctrines of the faith. We cannot budge on the Trinity, the person and work of Christ, biblical salvation, or the inspiration and authority of Scripture.

Conclusion

John MacArthur observes (ibid., p. 378), “Ephesians begins by lifting us up to the heavenlies, and ends by pulling us down to our knees.”

I read about a missionary years ago in the jungles of New Guinea who wrote the following letter to his friends back home: “Man, it is great to be in the thick of the fight, to draw the old devil’s heaviest guns, to have him at you with depression and discouragement, slander, disease. He doesn’t waste time on a lukewarm bunch.

“He hits good and hard when a fellow is hitting him. You can always measure the weight of your blow by the one you get back. When you’re on your back with fever and at your last ounce of strength, when some of your converts backslide, when you learn that your most promising inquirers are only fooling, when your mail gets held up, and some don’t bother to answer your letters, is that the time to put on mourning? No sir. That’s the time to pull out the stops and shout Hallelujah!

“The old fellow’s getting it in the neck and hitting back. Heaven is leaning over the battlements and watching. “Will he stick with it?” As they see who is with us, as they see the unlimited reserves, the boundless resources, as they see the impossibility of failure, how disgusted and sad they must be when we run away. Glory to God! We’re not going to run away. We’re going to stand!”

Malcolm Gladwell wrote a best selling book (Outliers) that showed us that we have to do something 10,000 times to fully reach the place where we are an “competent or an expert.”

If you want to complete a marathon, you have to run hundreds of training miles. If you want to learn a foreign language, you have to spend some hours memorizing declensions and conjugations. If you want to play the piano, you have to learn the scales and how to read music.

And if you want to accomplish anything for God, you have to spend time with the spiritual disciplines: Bible study, prayer, church involvement, fasting, serving.

Being a Christian is a living relationship with our living Lord Jesus. But like any other relationship, if you want it to be deep and meaningful—beyond the superficial and empty formalities—it takes time and commitment.

Have you ever thought about how a slogan like, “good help is hard to find,” ever got started? It must have started because, in fact, good help is hard to find! And, why is good help hard to find? Because people are basically self-centered and self-serving. They usually don’t put the interests of their employer first, unless it somehow benefits them. And so employers everywhere complain that good help is hard to find.

It works the other way, too. Good jobs are hard to find. Why? Because employers are basically self-centered and self-serving. They do not often put their employees’ interests first. And so it is rare to find a job where the employer genuinely cares about your welfare.

The apostle Paul wrote our text to show how Christian workers and bosses should treat each other. Granted, it is addressed to slaves and masters, not to employees and employers. Slavery was an accepted institution in the Roman world, where it has been estimated that between one-third and one-half of the population were slaves. Critics of the Bible attack Paul because he did not condemn slavery directly. But if he had done so, it would have led to armed revolt and the Christian faith would have been stamped out as an anti-slavery movement.

Instead, Paul, inspired by the Holy Spirit, did something else: he addressed both slaves and masters directly and showed how their faith should radically change the way that they related to one another. As Charles Hodge observes (Commentary on the Epistle to the Ephesians [Eerdmans, p. 370), as both sides treated one another in this Christian manner, “first the evils of slavery, and then slavery itself, would pass away as naturally and as healthfully as children cease to be minors.”

But although our text was written to slaves and masters, it applies directly to employees and employers. It shows practically how those filled with the Holy Spirit, who subject themselves to one another in the fear of Christ (5:18, 21), should relate to one another in the workplace. Paul is saying,

Your relationship to Christ and the fact that you live primarily for heaven should transform your relationships at work.

There are two foundational principles in the passage that provide the base for the third principle:

1. Your relationship with Christ is the primary thing in life.

Paul drives home through repetition the centrality of our relationship to Jesus Christ as Lord. Note: (6:5), “as to Christ”; (6:6), “as slaves of Christ,” “doing the will of God from the heart”; (6:7), “as to the Lord”; (6:8), “receive back from the Lord”; (6:9), “their Master and yours is in heaven….”

You can’t miss it: as a believer, your relationship with Jesus Christ as Lord is the primary, governing fact of life. Paul is expounding here on what he said (5:21), that we are to submit to one another “in the fear of Christ.” Nothing that we do should be done apart from that consideration. Every believer should live every day with the focus,  “I fear Christ. I am no longer my own. I belong to Christ as my Lord. I must do His will. I must live to please Him. Someday I will stand before Him to receive the reward for my faithful obedience.” Christ must be at the center of all that we think and do.

This is the emphasis of the entire Bible. The first and greatest commandment is (Matt. 22:37), “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.” The second greatest commandment is that we love one another. But the Lord does not put that command first. It is deliberately second, because the primary thing in life, the foundation for everything else, is that you love the Lord God, who has manifested Himself to us in the person of Jesus Christ. Relationship with Christ is primary!

Is it primary for you? Did your schedule last week reflect that fact? Did you meet alone with God in His Word to learn more about Him and how He wants you to live? Did you submit every thought, every decision, every word that you spoke, and every deed to the test, “Does this please my Lord Jesus Christ?” Did you take your needs to Him in prayer? You can’t begin to have the right perspective towards your job or your boss or your employees until you first get right with Jesus Christ. As Paul makes clear, you work primarily for Him. As he puts it in the parallel (Col. 3:24), “It is the Lord Christ whom you serve.”

2. Your relationship with Christ should put your focus primarily on heaven, not on this world.

Slaves in the Roman world often were treated terribly. They could be whipped, branded, mutilated, or killed. As punishment a slave could be sold so that he was forever separated from his family. Augustus crucified a slave who accidentally killed his pet quail. Juvenal wrote of a slave owner whose greatest pleasure was “listening to the sweet song of his slaves being flogged” (William Barclay, cited by John MacArthur, The MacArthur New Testament Commentary, Ephesians [Moody Press], p. 323).

So when Paul tells slaves, in effect, “be good slaves and you will be rewarded in heaven,” critics viciously attack him: “That’s just ‘pie in the sky when you die.’ That’s cruel disregard for the hardships that these poor victims are suffering right now! How dare you promise them reward in heaven when they die! We need to organize a slave protest! Slaves of the world, unite! Stand up for your rights!”

But you’ve got to decide at this point, do you go with the world’s way or with God’s way? The two could not be much more opposed to each other than they are here. The world says, “Fight for your rights! Don’t take this abuse!” God says (6:5, 8), “Slaves, be obedient to your masters according to the flesh” [emphasizing the temporality of the situation] … “knowing that whatever good thing each one does, this he will receive back from the Lord….” The world’s focus is on the here and now. God’s focus is on rewards in eternity.

An old song goes, “This world is not my home, I’m just a passin’ through; my treasures are laid up, somewhere beyond the blue. The angels beckoned me from heaven’s open door, and I can’t feel at home in this world anymore.” I wonder how many believers today could sing that song truthfully?

Paul repeats a phrase twice (6:8, 9) that reveals something that he had taught these believers: “knowing that….” The slave asks, “Why should I toil day after day in a difficult job that has no financial rewards for me?” Paul says (6:8), “knowing that whatever good thing each one does, this he will receive back from the Lord, whether slave or free.” The master asks, “Why should I treat my slaves decently and not threaten these no good, lazy bums when they don’t work hard?” Paul answers (6:9), “knowing that both their Master and yours is in heaven, and there is no partiality with Him.” Both verses point to eternity. Because of their relationship with Christ, both slave and master should have their focus on laying up rewards in heaven, not on rewards in this life.

This is a neglected doctrine in our day. I wonder how many of you did something this past week because you were consciously motivated by the thought that the Lord would reward you for it in heaven? If you’re not living to lay up treasures in heaven, your focus is wrong. In Hebrews 11, the great faith chapter, the emphasis is on the fact that these great men and women of faith died without receiving the promised reward. They were seeking “a better country, that is, a heavenly one” (Heb. 11:16). Moses left the riches and power of Pharaoh’s court and endured ill treatment with the people of God, “for he was looking to the reward” (Heb. 11:26).

Do you have a boring job? Maybe it’s even oppressive. Do you look on each day with dread, thinking, “What a hassle” as you grind through work? Paul says, “Get the eternal perspective! Put your focus on heaven. Even if your earthly boss doesn’t reward you, your heavenly Master will.” This doesn’t mean that you should not look for a better job or try to better your circumstances. But it does mean that your relationship with Christ should put your focus primarily on heaven, not on this earth.

So we have two foundational principles for approaching the third principle that deals specifically with work. First, your relationship with Christ is primary. Second, because of that, your focus should primarily be on heaven, not on this world.

3. Your relationship with Christ should make you the best employee or employer on the job.
4. Your relationship with Christ should make you the best employee on the job.

The key concept is, you do not work primarily for your employer. You work primarily for Jesus Christ, who sees your every motive and action, even when your earthly boss is not there. Paul gives five qualities that should characterize every Christian worker:

(1). A Christian employee should be obedient.

Don’t ignore your boss. Don’t say yes and then not do what he asks you to do. Don’t roll your eyes and then piddle around because you think that what he asked is stupid. Rather, obey “with fear and trembling, in the sincerity of your heart, as to Christ” (6:5). In the Greek text, Paul says to obey from the heart (6:5), from the soul (6:6, NASB, “heart”), and from the mind (6:7, NASB, “good will”). In other words, it is to be a total person thing, not half-hearted obedience.

There are times when a Christian employee must refuse to obey an employer. If he asks you to lie for him or juggle the books or take advantage of a customer, you must tactfully refuse. But hopefully these situations will be rare. Your normal mode of operation should be to obey your boss.

(2). A Christian employee should be conscientious before the Lord.

Paul says to obey “with fear and trembling” (6:5). This does not mean cowering in fear before your boss. Paul uses this expression frequently with the idea of fearing that you will misrepresent the Lord and the gospel. It refers to fearing God in light of the final judgment (Peter O’Brien, The Letter to the Ephesians [Eerdmans/Apollos], p. 449–450). It means doing your job well so that your boss will not think poorly of your Lord. If you would not do shoddy work for Christ, then don’t do shoddy work for your boss.

(3). A Christian employee should be focused in purpose.

Paul says to be obedient “in the sincerity of your heart” (6:5). Sincerity is often used to refer to generosity in Christian giving (Rom. 12:8; 2 Cor. 8:2; 9:11, 13). It has the nuance of singleness of focus, along with liberality. It means that you give it your all, with undivided attention and effort. You don’t waste time on the job. You don’t share your faith with other employees on company time, unless your boss has given you permission to do so. Rather, you are focused on the task that you have been assigned.

(4). A Christian employee should be genuine, not hypocritical.

Paul says (6:6), “not by way of eyeservice, as men-pleasers.” In other words, you don’t just work hard when your boss is looking, in order to get his approval, and then slack off when he’s not around. A man-pleaser worries about what people think, but he’s not concerned with what God thinks. He tries to make a good impression, so that he can get a raise or promotion, but his heart is not in the work. He is manipulative for his own gain, but not sincerely concerned about pleasing his boss as a testimony for Christ.

(5). A Christian employee should enthusiastically serve Christ from the heart on the job.

As I said, in the Greek text, Paul says to obey from the heart (6:5), from the soul (6:6, NASB, “heart”), and from the mind (6:7, NASB, “good will”). This implies having an enthusiastic, positive, cheerful spirit on the job. It’s easy to fall in with other employees that complain about the boss or the low pay or the poor working conditions or the lousy benefits. The list goes on and on!

But remember, the slaves to whom Paul was writing didn’t have any rights, any benefits, any time off, or any pay beyond board and room! If they goofed up, they could be beaten or worse! If they did well, there were no raises or promotions. And yet Paul tells them to be obedient in the sincerity of their hearts, doing the will of God from the soul, and rendering service with good will, which has the nuance of zeal, eagerness, and wholeheartedness (O’Brien, p. 452). Why? Because they were doing it for the Lord Jesus Christ, not for their earthly masters. Christians should be the best employees on the job!

1. Your relationship with Christ should make you the best employer on the job.

Paul lists two things for the Christian master or employer:

(1). A Christian employer should treat his employees as he would wish to be treated.

Paul’s word to Christian masters would have been shocking in those times, when the laws and the culture were slanted completely towards the masters, even to the point of brutality and death for the slaves (O’Brien, p. 454). When Paul says, “do the same things,” he does not mean that the masters were to serve their slaves. Rather, as Charles Hodge explains (Commentary on the Epistle to the Ephesians [Eerdmans], p. 368), “Masters are to act towards their slaves with the same regard to the will of God, with the same recognition of the authority of Christ, with the same sincerity and good feeling which had been enjoined on the slaves themselves.”

In other words, Christian employers should treat their employees as the employer would want to be treated if he were an employee. He should be fair, reasonable, and understanding. He should not play favorites, because his Master in heaven does not show partiality (6:9).

(2). A Christian employer should give up threatening.

This also would have been a shocking command in that day! Paul is not saying that a master could not give a proper warning to a disobedient or lazy slave. Rather, he means that he is to treat him with respect, not demeaning him or threatening him with terrifying punishment. During the same time that Paul wrote Ephesians from prison, he had met and led to Christ a runaway slave named Onesimus. Runaway slaves were usually executed or at least punished so severely that it served as a lesson to other slaves not to try the same thing. But Paul wrote to Philemon, the Christian slave owner, telling him that he should now treat Onesimus as a beloved brother in Christ. This was radical stuff that went against the culture of the day! But that’s how Christian employers should treat their employees, knowing that they both have the same Lord in heaven, and there is no partiality with Him (6:9).

Conclusion

On February 22, 1899, Elbert Hubbard, an editor of a small magazine, needed some filler for the next issue. He sat down after dinner and in an hour banged out an article that was run without a title He didn’t think much more about it. But a few weeks later, requests began to come in for that issue of the magazine: a dozen, fifty, a hundred, and then a thousand copies were requested. The editor was puzzled over the interest. He asked a helper, who told him it was the title-less article.

Then an order came for 100,000 copies from the president of a large railroad company. The editor replied that it would take him at least two years to fill that order. The railroad president asked for and received permission to print it himself. He distributed at least a million and a half copies. Then a Russian railroad executive touring the U.S. saw it. When he got home he had it translated into Russian and gave a copy to every railroad employee in Russia.

It spread into Germany, France, Spain, Turkey, India, and China. During the war between Russia and Japan, every Russian soldier was given a copy of this article. The Japanese, finding the booklets in possession of the Russian prisoners, concluded it must be a good thing, and translated it into Japanese. A copy was given to every man working for the Japanese Government. In all, it was translated into 37 languages and sold over 40 million copies, becoming one of the best selling items ever printed.

Why was there such a demand for this article? It later gained the title, “A Message to Garcia.” It was about an incident in the Spanish-American War. President McKinley wanted a message delivered personally to General Garcia in the interior of Cuba. An American officer, Lieutenant Rowan, had simply received his orders, taken the message, and without complaint, without procrastination, and without fanfare, in spite of great difficulty and danger, delivered the message to Garcia. The article extolled the faithfulness of this man who simply took the initiative and did his job well. The demand for the article stemmed from the fact that there is such a lack of diligent, faithful employees who do what they are supposed to do—who take the message to Garcia. Good help really is hard to find!

That’s where your opportunity as a Christian employee or employer comes in. Your relationship to Christ and the fact that you live primarily for heaven should transform your relationships and performance at work. You should be the best employee or employer on the job. While you reserve verbal witness for breaks or after work, your attitude and performance testify to your Savior. Your attitudes and work ethic may be the only Bible that your fellow workers ever read. Let it point them to the Savior! Even if you are never rewarded in this life, your Master in heaven will reward you throughout eternity.

 

When Arthur Gordon was 13 and his brother was 10, their father had promised to take them to the circus. But while he was home for lunch there was a phone call. Some urgent business required his attention at work. The two boys braced themselves for the disappointment. But then they heard their father say, “No, I won’t be there. It will have to wait.”

When he came back to the table, his wife smiled and said, “The circus keeps coming back, you know.” “I know,” said the wise father, “but childhood doesn’t.” (Source unknown)

I want to give you some key biblical principles for nurturing your children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord (Eph. 6:4). I realize that the focus of this message is somewhat narrow, since many of you do not have children or your children are already grown. But I believe the subject is of enough importance to warrant our attention. Our children are the future of the church and nation. So even if you’re not currently rearing children, how others do it will affect you. Parents need God’s wisdom on how to do the job effectively. If you don’t have children at home, perhaps God can use you to share these principles with those who do.

I begin by stating a presupposition that I’m bringing to this topic. Almost all of you will agree with this presupposition in theory, but probably many of you violate it in practice. It is this: Scripture is sufficient to equip us as good parents. Paul says that Scripture is adequate to equip us for every good work (2 Tim. 3:16–17). Surely that includes the work of rearing our children properly.

At first glance, it may seem that the Bible is somewhat lacking in specific techniques concerning this vital topic. As I said last week, Paul gives us a grand total of 20 (English) words (Eph. 6:4, NASB) on how to rear our children. But we err if we think that technique is the key to raising children. We read books and go to seminars that give us the right techniques. While some of this may be helpful in a limited way, technique is not the key to rearing children. True godliness and the wisdom found in God’s Word is the key. The Bible was written to teach us how to love God and love one another.

So I want to encourage you to reject most of the so-called “wisdom” that has flooded into the church in recent years through psychology. Parents now look to Christian psychologists as the experts in how to raise their children. But the problem is, these “experts” dispense a lot of anti-biblical nonsense, such as, “building your child’s self-esteem,” as if it were compatible with Scripture. The Bible clearly teaches that your child’s innate esteem for himself is the problem, not the goal! So challenge everything (including my words today) by comparing it with the Bible.

I want to give you one sentence that governs all child rearing; and then discuss some goals and ways to achieve those goals as parents. Child rearing in one sentence is:

As our heavenly Father relates to us as His children, so we must relate to our children.

We are to be imitators of God, our heavenly Father, as beloved children (Eph. 5:1). God has a goal for His children, to conform them to the image of Christ (Rom. 8:28–29). His Word contains the two great commandments that move us toward that goal.

1. Our overall goal: that our children may be growing in love for God and for others as they grow in joyous submission to the lordship of Christ.

As parents, we need to stay focused on the objective: To see our kids grow up to love God with all their hearts, and to love others as they live daily by submitting their thoughts, words, and deeds to the Lord Jesus Christ. There are several components of this goal:

1. Seek to bring your children to genuine conversion to Christ.

This is foundational to all else! As I said recently, when your child makes a decision to “invite Jesus into his heart,” he may or may not be genuinely converted to Christ. Many Christian parents are too quick to say, “He invited Jesus into his heart,” and “once saved, always saved.” But the crucial question is, is he truly saved? Has God changed his heart? Jesus said that you can tell a good or bad tree by its fruit (Matt. 7:16–20). Fruit takes time to grow. So, look for signs of conversion in your child: a hunger for God through His Word; a sensitive conscience toward sin; a desire to please God; etc.

1. Help your children grow in godliness.

This is a lifelong process, of course. But your goal is to get your kids to have a God-ward focus in their lives. They are accountable primarily to God, not to you. They must learn that their disobedience and sin displeases Him. They need to learn to please God with every thought, word, and deed. As soon as they’re old enough, help them establish a quiet time. Help them memorize Scripture. Help them evaluate various activities by the question, “Does it please God?”

Part of growing in godliness is developing godly character qualities. Hebrews 12:10 says that God disciplines (trains) us so that we may share His holiness. You must train your children to share God’s holiness. Teach them about the fruit of the Spirit; moral purity; how to deal with trials with joy and thanksgiving; and, about having a servant-attitude instead of a selfish outlook. Attitudes are important, not just outward behavior, since God is concerned about our hearts.

As Christians, we should take the doctrine of the fall seriously. This means that children, by nature, are self-centered and proud. They do not need help developing more self-esteem, which is a subtle form of pride. They don’t need to be taught to believe in themselves. They need encouragement to grow in humility and servanthood. Since as sinners, we’re all rebellious at heart, kids need to learn submission to proper authority as a part of godliness.

1. Help your children cultivate godly relationships.

Practicing the second great commandment, loving our neighbor as we do in fact love ourselves, begins in the home. Our kids need to learn what biblical love is (as opposed to worldly love; 1 Cor. 13:4–7; 1 John 3:16–18; 4:7–21). They need to learn how to resolve conflicts God’s way, as opposed to the world’s way (Eph. 4:25–32; 1 Pet. 3:8–12). They need to learn how to speak in a manner that builds up rather than tears down others (Eph. 4:29). They need to learn how to be discerning in choosing friends who will not drag them into the world (1 Cor. 15:33; 2 Cor. 6:14–7:1). They need to learn how to minister to other kids, both through evangelizing and discipling them. Much of this they learn by your example.

1. Train your children in life’s responsibilities.

Kids need certain skills to be able to function as adults. These include domestic duties, such as cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, and shopping. They need to learn proper hygiene and care of the body through nutrition, rest, exercise, etc. They should learn how to drive a car and basic car maintenance. (I’m not saying that every teen needs to learn how to change the oil, but they do need to learn that the oil needs changing!)

They should learn to take care of and respect the possessions and property God has given to them, and to respect the property of others. Teach them the biblical perspective on being managers of the finances that God entrusts to them. This includes earning money (how to get a job and be good workers), spending, giving, and budgeting. They need to learn about checking accounts, investing, and the dangers of debt and greed. Teach them a biblical outlook on how to be resourceful and live simply. Also, teach them how to manage their time so as to be responsible in completing their duties at school, their chores, etc. They need to learn how to balance work and leisure time.

So, these are our goals, under the overall goal of helping our kids grow in love for God and others as they grow in submission to the lordship of Christ. Overwhelming, isn’t it? How do we do it? I can’t say it all, of course. But here are a few biblical principles.

2. The overall principle: As the heavenly Father relates to us, so we must relate to our children.

This is biblical child rearing in one sentence. Does God love us in spite of our many shortcomings and sins? Then we should love our children and not withdraw our love as a means of punishment. Does God patiently correct us for our good, so that we may share His holiness? Then we should do the same for our children. But I want to emphasize a few things. First, some good news and some bad news: The good news is…

1. Your example is the primary means for training your children.

The bad news is, “Your example is the primary means for training your children.” Your kids will learn far more from your life than from your lectures, especially if your lectures don’t back up your life. God, of course, is our example (Eph. 5:1), especially the Lord Jesus Christ. You are either a good or not so good example to your children. If they see you loving God with all your heart and having His Word on your heart continually, then they are more likely to catch the same love for God (Deut. 6:4–9).

It’s crucial to instill an atmosphere of joy in the Lord in your home, so that it permeates everything. Children should learn by watching you that the Christian life is a joyful life, full of hope, even in the midst of trials (Rom. 5:3–5; 15:13). Your kids won’t learn this by your lectures or by laying all sorts of rules on them. They learn it by watching your example, especially during trials.

Not only must you model loving God and joy in the Lord, but also loving others (which is often more difficult than loving God!). It’s especially important that you show consistent, faithful love and respect for your mate. If you are divorced from your kids’ father (or mother), you still should show respect for him, even if you must carefully speak out against his way of life. If you’re bitter towards him, you’ll poison your kids (Heb. 12:15). They need to see you living the Christian life every day. This doesn’t imply perfection, but it does imply reality with God and the humility of confessing your sins and seeking forgiveness when you’re wrong.

1. Grace and love should be the defining characteristics of your life.

How is God described in the Bible? When He revealed Himself to Moses (Exod. 34:6–7), He proclaimed, “The Lord, the Lord God, compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in lovingkindness and truth; who keeps lovingkindness for thousands, who forgives iniquity, transgression and sin; yet He will by no means leave the guilty unpunished, visiting the iniquity of fathers on the children and on the grandchildren to the third and fourth generations.” God is perfectly balanced. He is loving and gracious, but He also punishes sin, sometimes severely! But toward His children, God’s main mode of action is His tender love and abundant goodness: “Just as a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him” (Ps. 103:13).

Negatively, this means that there is never any place for any abuse on the part of parents toward their children. There should never be any verbal abuse (put-downs, name calling, cursing, threats, etc.); no physical abuse (any hitting or inflicting pain on your children just to vent your anger is sin); and never, never any sexual abuse!

Positively, your actively demonstrated love for your kids is the necessary foundation for any discipline that you must administer. “Whom the Lord loves, He reproves, even as a father, the son in whom he delights” (Prov. 3:12). Delighting in your kids means that you like them and treat them that way. You show delight for your kids with your eyes, with kind and loving words, by listening, by welcoming them into your presence, and by proper physical affection. They aren’t a bother or interruption to your schedule. If you’ve not taken the time to play with your children, to read to them, to listen to and talk with them, to give them proper affection through words and appropriate touch, then you have no basis for disciplining them. Grace and love are the foundation for discipline.

1. Teach your children to respect you from their youngest ages through proper correction and discipline.

“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge” (Prov. 1:7). Proper respect for God is at the heart of a relationship to Him. Likewise, God has given parents authority over their children, and the children must learn to obey their parents (Eph. 6:1–3). Respect comes through loving discipline: “We had earthly fathers to discipline us, and we respected them” (Heb. 12:9). Teach your children to obey, and the sooner you start, the better. When they’re very young, you deal with behavior, since that’s all they understand; as soon as possible, deal with attitudes as well (since God demands that we have the proper attitude).

Parents need to understand and practice several things with regard to proper discipline. First, your child’s good, not your selfishness or anger, must be the basis for your correction. If you’re just venting your anger by yelling or hitting your child, you’re sinning. You must discipline as God does, “for our good, that we may share His holiness” (Heb. 12:10). In other words, biblical love is the only basis for discipline; not your embarrassment or frustration or need to control your child. Don’t take their disobedience personally. They’re sinners, disobeying God by disobeying their parents. God has put you in the middle to train them to obey Him. But you’ll thwart the process if you take their disobedience personally. They need calm correction.

Second, discipline your children diligently (Prov. 13:24). We tend to get lazy. It’s a hassle to give correction and discipline, so we don’t do it consistently. As a result, our kids don’t know whether they’re going to get away with murder one day or get nailed for some minor offense the next. Never threaten anything out of proportion to the offense. And never threaten anything you can’t or don’t plan to carry out. You shouldn’t yell, unless it’s for their safety or the only way to get their attention. But you do need to be firm and consistent. God carries out His word (Gal. 6:7); so should we.

Third, distinguish between immaturity and defiance. If a three-year-old is acting three, you may have to train or correct, but you should treat him differently than if he is being defiant. If a child is defiant, you first warn him and talk to him about it. If he persists, you need to apply the paddle (“rod” in Proverbs) to his behind. But, you need to be careful to do it in the proper manner. Never spank your child if you are not in control of your anger. Many people take the “spare the rod and spoil the child” passages (Prov. 13:24; 22:15; 23:13, 14; 29:15) as the primary method for disciplining children. A popular Christian pamphlet encourages parents to apply the rod, even to older children, for the slightest disobedience or even if the child hesitates before obeying. But if God dealt with us like that, life would be a perpetual spanking! Loving verbal correction should be the primary method!

With a toddler or young child, saying no and spanking his hand or bottom if he does not obey can be the most effective means of communicating that you mean business. As a child grows in his ability to reason, you talk with him. You give him time to make the right decision to follow the Lord, just as God gives you time to grow. In Proverbs (10:13; 19:29; 26:3), the rod is for the back of fools, who persist in rebellion or disregard for God. So with an older child, physical punishment should only be a last resort, for those who persist in disobedience or rebellion. If you properly train a child to respect and obey you when he is young, usually you won’t have a rebel later. You can relax the rules as a child grows in maturity and submission to the lordship of Christ.

1. Respect your children as unique human beings.

Your children primarily belong to God, who has uniquely made them for His purposes (Ps. 139). He entrusts them to your care. You have the assignment of training and releasing them into His service. They’re described in Psalm 127:4 as arrows. Arrows are designed to shoot at the enemy, not to hold on to. So many Christian parents try to force their children to excel so that the kids will make the parents look good, so that the parents can boast in their children. Of course we should encourage our children to work heartily as unto the Lord (Col. 3:23). But they are not you! They are unique human beings, created and gifted by God who will direct them in His perfect paths. If your child grows up to become a godly garbage truck driver, that’s better than for him to grow up to become a worldly doctor or corporation president.

So your task is to train your children to be godly and to follow wherever the Lord directs them. As they grow older, you feed them more responsibility and gradually release them unto Him. Since each child is different, you must not treat them all the same. Some are ready for responsibility sooner than others are.

1. Major on the majors.

Minimize rules and maximize loving God and others. Don’t get hung up with petty, legalistic issues and miss the heart of things. The key aim is to get your child to live daily under the lordship of Jesus Christ, seeking to please Him. Some well-meaning Christian parents get hung up about external things, such as current fads and styles. But those things come and go. Yes, if your son is running with the wrong crowd, that’s a major concern. Or if a daughter is dressing in a sensual manner, that needs to be dealt with. But be careful to major on the majors, so that you don’t drive your child from the Lord over petty issues.

Conclusion

A grandson was visiting his grandmother when he said, “Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?” She was mentally polishing her halo as she asked, “No, how are we alike?” “You’re both old,” he replied.

Let’s hope that as parents, we have more in common with God than just being old! Let’s hope that we’re growing in godliness. If you’re still in the process of rearing children, remember the key proposition: As our heavenly Father relates to us as His children, so we must relate to our children.

You say, “That’s impossible!” True, we’ll never do it perfectly. Thank God for His abundant grace that covers all our sin! If you’ve badly failed as a parent, I encourage you to return to the Lord, who will abundantly pardon (Isa. 55:6–7). Plead with Him in prayer for your children, even if they’re adults. His mercy is great! But our goal is graciously, lovingly to relate to our children as our Father in heaven relates to us. Solomon wrote (Prov. 29:17), “Correct your son, and he will give you comfort; he will also give delight to your soul.” Sir John Bowring said, “A happy family is but an earlier heaven.” I encourage you to live by God’s Word in your home life. He will bless you beyond what you can ask or even think.

After a speaker had concluded his luncheon address about the needs of youth to a civic club in a Canadian city, a big, burly man stepped up to shake his hand. “I want to show you something,” he said, pulling out his wallet. He carefully pulled out five well-worn photos of young men and laid them side by side. “Those five boys are my sons,” he said, his voice catching. “And I drove every one of them out of my home!”

He went on to say that he’d been a military man all his life. Discipline was his lifestyle. And as a Christian father, he expected obedience from his sons. He laid down the rules and if they didn’t like them they were free to leave. All five boys had left home after high school. “And I haven’t seen a one of them since,” he said.

Again he reached into his billfold. This time he pulled out a picture of a grinning ten-year-old boy and put it down beside the other five. “That’s my youngest. He’s the only one I have left. I swear to God I’m not going to make the same mistake with him.” (Margie Lewis, from Hurting Parents, cited in Leadership Journal, Summer, 1980, p. 73.)

That father had failed to do with his five sons what Paul here commands: “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” “Bring them up” is the same Greek word that is translated “nourish” in 5:29. It means to nurture or provide for. Thus,

The Spirit-filled home is one where the father nurtures his children in the Lord.

As we have seen, all of these commands (from 5:22–6:9) show the results of being filled with the Holy Spirit (5:18), applied specifically to different roles in the Christian home. There is a perfect balance. Paul could have only addressed the children (6:1–3) and said, “Obey your parents. Any questions?” And he could have moved on. But instead, he addresses the fathers, giving first a negative command, “do not provoke your children to anger,” and then the positive, “but nurture them in the training and admonition of the Lord.”

In 6:1, Paul tells the children to obey their parents, using a word that refers to both parents. But in 6:4, he does not use that word, but rather he directly speaks to the fathers. Certainly, the command applies to mothers as well, but he addresses fathers to emphasize that they must not be passive in the rearing of children. Husbands are not to leave everything to their wives while they bring home the paycheck. Rather, as the head of the home, the father is responsible for nurturing, training, and teaching the children the things of God. Because of his responsibility to provide for the family financially, he will no doubt delegate much of this responsibility to his wife. But delegating does not equal dumping. Delegation requires oversight and close cooperation. So the father cannot entertain the mindset, “training the children is their mother’s job.” It is his job primarily!

Fathers are not to provoke their children to anger.

If you had twenty words to say everything that needed to be said to Christian fathers on how to raise their children, what would you say? There are no inspired books on child rearing, but here is God’s inspired command in twenty English words. And the first thing He says is, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger.”

This was a radical command in the Roman world of Paul’s day. Fathers had absolute authority over their families. When a baby was born into a Roman family, it was brought out and laid before the father. If he picked it up it meant that he was accepting it into the home. But if he did not pick it up, it meant that the child was rejected. It could be sold, given away, or left to die by exposure (Warren Wiersbe, Be Rich [Victor Books], p. 153). The father could legally kill his own child if he wanted to. But Paul begins by showing that a father’s harsh treatment of his child is wrong. Christian fathers are not to provoke their children to anger. In the parallel (Col. 3:21), he says, “Fathers, do not exasperate your children, so that they will not lose heart.” Don’t irritate or frustrate them, but rather, encourage them. There are two sides to this:

In order not to provoke our children to anger, we must have our own anger under control.

It is sad and ridiculous to watch a father scream at one of his kids, “If you hit your brother again, I’m going to beat your butt off!” I wonder where the child learned that anger is okay? How can we teach our children to control their anger if we do not control our anger towards them? If they watch their parents yell angrily at each other and then those same parents yell at them, “You stop fighting with your brother,” somehow the message just doesn’t come through!

When Paul lists the qualities of love (1 Cor. 13:4), he begins with, “Love is patient, love is kind….” He goes on to say (13:5) that love is not provoked. Since loving one another is the second greatest command, every Christian must be growing in love. The fruit of the Spirit includes love, patience, kindness, gentleness, and self-control (Gal. 5:22–23). A Spirit-filled father will be developing these qualities so that they are seen in his daily life. If we are not loving our children in this way, by controlling our anger, we are failing to practice the Christian life at the most basic level. So we must begin with ourselves!

Having our own anger under control, we must not do things to provoke our children to anger.

Paul’s command to fathers here does not imply that children are not responsible for their own anger. They can’t excuse their anger by blaming their angry fathers. But it does imply that fathers have a responsibility not to provoke their children to sin. We could probably come up with a list twice this long, but here are 12 ways that fathers may provoke their children to anger.(I gleaned these from several sources: Martyn Lloyd-Jones, Life in the Spirit [Baker], pp. 279–286; John MacArthur, The MacArthur New Testament Commentary, Ephesians [Moody Press], pp. 317–318; Peter O’Brien, The Letter to the Ephesians [Eerdmans/Apollos], p. 446; and, Wiersbe, op. cit., pp. 153–154.)

(1). Fathers may provoke their children to anger by capriciousness.

This is when a father is unpredictable because of his up and down moods. One day, he blows his stack because of a minor infraction of some rule. The next day, he lets a major offense go unpunished. So he is inconsistent in how he relates to his children. Some fathers act this way towards their children deliberately to keep them in fear or under control. But it is not like Jesus Christ, who is steady and unchanging in His love towards us.

(2). Fathers may provoke their children to anger by unreasonableness.

We’ve all had the frustrating experience of trying to explain something to someone who is unreasonable and unwilling to listen. You don’t come away feeling understood or cared for. You come away angry and upset. Paul is saying, “Don’t use your parental authority in an unreasonable way that frustrates your children.” Granted, there are times when every parent must end the discussion by saying, “I don’t want to discuss it; you need to obey me because I said so!” But if that is your normal response, you’re probably provoking your child to anger. He needs to feel that you understand his situation before you pass judgment.

(3). Fathers may provoke their children to anger by favoritism.

One child gets away with everything, because he’s the favorite, whereas the other children get punished for minor things. Or, he frequently compares one child unfavorably with his more obedient or accomplished brother. Or, a father favors his son over his daughter and lets her know that he wishes she had been a boy.

This does not mean that parents must treat each child in exactly the same way. We learn as parents as we go, so sometimes we treat younger children less strictly than we treated their older brother or sister, because we have matured as parents. Also, different children require different approaches to relate to their unique personalities. But in however we relate to our children, we should let each one know that we love him (or her) because God entrusted him to us as parents. Don’t show favoritism (see Gen. 25:28)!

(4). Fathers may provoke their children to anger by selfishness.

Some parents are just plain selfish in the way they relate to their children. They bark orders, “Bring me this,” or “do this,” while the parent is being lazy or irresponsible. Or, they push their child towards achievement, because the parent wants to bask in the achievements of the child which the parent himself never accomplished. Sometimes parental selfishness shows itself when the parent does not accept the unique personality and giftedness of the child. He doesn’t allow the child to have a personality of his own or to like activities that the parent doesn’t especially enjoy. Maybe a dad likes sports, but his son likes art or music. So the dad isn’t happy because the son didn’t try out for the team, even though he is an excellent artist or musician. That’s just plain selfishness on the part of the father and it breeds resentment in the child.

(5). Fathers may provoke their children to anger by criticism without praise.

Some fathers are just negative and critical, no matter how well a child does. The child cleans his room, but there are a few things not quite right. The dad climbs all over him for the few things that are wrong, rather than praising him for the overall good job and then gently coaching him on how to make it even better. I always liked what Ken Blanchard and Spencer Johnson wrote in The One Minute Manager ([William Morrow and Company], p. 39), “catch them doing something right” and praise them for it. I have tried to apply that to our children. Rather than criticizing them for things that weren’t perfect, catch them doing something right and let them know how much I appreciate it.

(6). Fathers may provoke their children to anger by perfectionism.

This is related to the previous point. Some fathers demand that their children be perfect, so that it doesn’t reflect badly on them. The child may work hard in school, but he gets one B. The dad looks at the report card and says, “I want to see that B turned into an A!” That discourages a child! Many pastors fall into this trap. They want their children to be perfect little Christians, so they insist on perfect behavior, especially when they’re at church. But that breeds resentment, not to mention, hypocrisy.

Along with this, you must be careful not to humiliate or ridicule your children when they fail or when they make childish mistakes. If they do something stupid and you call attention to it and laugh at how stupid they were, you’re provoking them to anger. Rather, kindly come alongside and say, “It’s okay, we’ve all done things like that.”

(7). Fathers may provoke their children to anger by extremes of over and under discipline.

Some parents react to the permissiveness of our society by laying down the law in their homes. They have rules for everything and they expect instant and total compliance, or there are consequences. The home is run like a boot camp, where when the drill sergeant yells a command, you’re supposed to respond instantly with, “Sir, yes sir!” And then you’d better do what he said or you’re in big trouble! But in that sort of environment, there is no heart of concern that the child become all that God wants him to be. There is no explanation to the child of the reason for the rules. It’s just discipline for discipline’s sake.

Other parents react to the legalism that they have encountered by allowing anything. They don’t want to stifle their children’s developing personalities. So they don’t establish and enforce any standards or rules. Marla and I once visited a young family (not in this church) where the boys were running on the kitchen countertops and the parents just laughed and shook their heads as if to say, “Well, boys will be boys!” Another time I was horrified to watch high school kids at a church social at someone’s home step on the couch and climb over the back, rather than walk around! The parents had not taught these children any respect for others’ property.

Under-discipline will result in anger in the children when they get out into the world and get penalized because they don’t understand how the world works. They’ll be angry towards a “mean” boss who won’t tolerate their hang-loose approach. They’ll be angry when they get fired for being a few minutes late every day. They were raised with a lack of discipline.

(8). Fathers may provoke their children to anger by insensitivity to a child’s problems.

A child’s problem may not seem all that important to a parent, so he belittles it or doesn’t listen. The child will become frustrated and turn elsewhere for advice.

(9). Fathers may provoke their children to anger by not being available.

I recently read a heartbreaking letter to Dear Abby from an eleven-year-old girl whose dad spends all his spare time with his friends, but won’t do things with her. Children interpret an absent or unavailable father as rejecting them or not loving them. There is no such thing as quality time with your children, apart from quantity time! And when you spend time with your children, they know whether you’re doing it because it’s your duty, or whether you enjoy spending time with them because you love them. You only have a short window of time when your kids want to spend time with you, rather than with their friends. A wise father will capitalize on it by spending a lot of time with his children. By the way, if you’re too busy for your kids because you’re “serving the Lord” at church, your kids will not grow up to love the church. You can involve them with you as you serve the Lord, but don’t neglect them in order to serve the Lord.

(10). Fathers may provoke their children to anger by breaking promises.

Sometimes, of course, it is unavoidable. You have promised to do something with your kids, but your job demands your time at the last minute. But that should not happen very often and when it does happen, you had better make it up to your children, or they will grow resentful and they will not trust your word.

(11). Fathers may provoke their children to anger by hypocrisy.

Kids smell hypocrisy a mile away. If you put on a “happy Christian family” face at church and then yell at your kids or berate them at home, they will not be drawn to your faith. When you do sin against your child by losing your temper or by breaking a promise, explain to him that you sinned. Tell him that you have asked God to forgive you and then ask, “Will you forgive me?” It demonstrates to your child that you are dealing with your sins as God instructs us to do.

(12). Fathers may provoke their children to anger by verbal and/or physical abuse.

I wish I didn’t even have to mention this in Christian circles because it was non-existent. But sadly, in many Christian homes, fathers not only yell at their children, but also call them names or say hurtful things or hit them in anger. While there is a place for properly spanking younger children, it is never okay to spank a child when you are not in control of your anger! And, Ephesians 4:29 applies to every word you speak to your children, “Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear.”

Well, perhaps I’ve spent too long on the negative, but I frequently hear of Christian fathers provoking their children to anger. Let’s look at the positive side:

Fathers are to nurture their children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

As I said, “bring them up” means to nourish or nurture. It means to provide nourishing spiritual food for your children. “Discipline” comes from a word meaning “training.” It is used of the Lord’s training of His children so that we may share His holiness (Heb. 12:5–11). It is also used of the training in righteousness that comes through the inspired Word (2 Tim. 3:16). “Instruction” is literally, “admonition.” It is also used of the instruction or admonition that we receive through the Scriptures (1 Cor. 10:11). Paul told the Corinthians (1 Cor. 4:14), “I do not write these things to shame you, but to admonish you as my beloved children.” So Paul’s command implies that a father will lovingly exhort, encourage, and correct his children with God’s Word as the standard.

Nurture your children in the training (“discipline”) of the Lord.

This training requires years of patient encouragement and correction. Positively, train them in how to deal with life’s trials in a spirit of joyful thankfulness before the Lord. Train them how to handle their emotions; how to relate lovingly to others; how to work through disagreements and conflicts in a godly way; how to discipline and use their time; how to work hard; how to be a good steward of the money and possessions that God entrusts to them; and every other skill that they will need as mature adults.

Negatively, training refers to correction or chastisement for wrongdoing. I’ll say more about this next time, but for now I’ll say, teach your children when they are very young to respect and obey your authority. Then as they grow older, you can back off on the rules as you see them behaving responsibly.

Nurture your children in the instruction (“admonition”) of the Lord.

This refers to verbal correction. It means to correct or warn or strongly encourage someone to change from behavior or attitudes that are sinful and destructive. It involves appealing to their will and urging them to take responsibility for their actions. A father should admonish his children with humility, as a fellow sinner who understands their weaknesses. You should admonish with love and deep concern for the child’s growth in godliness. Scripture is the standard, both for the father and his children. He doesn’t put on them something that he himself is not following. The goal (as Paul uses the word in Col. 1:28) is, “We proclaim Him, admonishing every man and teaching every man with all wisdom, so that we may present every man complete in Christ.”

Conclusion

You cannot impart what you do not possess. If you are not walking in submission to God’s Word, you can’t expect your children to do so. If you secretly look at porn on the Internet, you can’t lecture your kids about moral purity, much less pray for their purity. If you’re an angry man, you can’t expect your kids to be sweet, compliant children. So, start with yourself!

Also, take an active role with your wife in the spiritual training of your children. Eat dinner together as a family. Do not answer the phone. Turn off the TV. Talk about the events of the day. Relate to your family how the Lord was a part of your day. At the end of the meal, read a portion from the Bible and pray together. We used (and still use) “The Global Prayer Digest,” which gives a brief story about some unreached people group, so that you can pray for them. My aim, through sheer repetition, was to impress on my kids three things: The Bible is our standard and guide for all of life; prayer is how we bring our needs before our loving heavenly Father; and, missions is vital, because God will be glorified among the nations and He has called us to have a part in that process.

The Duke of Windsor once quipped, “The thing that impresses me most about America is the way parents obey their children” (cited by Warren Wiersbe, Listening to the Giants [Moody Press], p. 253).

This remark is illustrated by a story that Ligon Duncan tells A mother of a rather precocious 14-year-old daughter called to tell him that her daughter was giving her fits about coming to church. The father was not involved, but the mother was very concerned because the girl was going to a church that the mother did not approve of. The mom said to Pastor Duncan, “What do I do?”

He said, “Now, let me just ask a question. Let’s see. She’s 14. She’s not driving. Right? Now how is she getting to this church?”

“Well, I mean, I’m taking her.”

“OK. Well, here’s an idea about how you could get her to not do that and come to church: DON’T TAKE HER THERE!”

And the mom’s response was, “I can do that?”

The biblical answer is, “Yes, of course you can do that!” You’re the parent and the biblical order, especially in Christian homes, is not, “Parents, obey your children,” but rather, “Children, obey your parents.” It would seem as if we’ve been influenced by worldly psychology that tells us, “Parents, cater to your child’s every whim and don’t do anything to stifle his self-esteem or warp his fragile personality!” We’re afraid to say lovingly, “I’m your parent. God holds me accountable for your spiritual well being. The answer is, ‘No!’”

It also seems that teenage rebellion is viewed as the normal experience, even in Christian homes. I’ve encountered numerous situations where teens from Christian homes have rebelled, sometimes getting involved in serious sin, and the parents shrug their shoulders helplessly and say, “Well, they all have to go through a period of rebellion!” But that’s a worldly idea, not a godly one.

Dr. Howard Hendricks tells of an evening when he and his wife received a phone call from their daughter, who was a freshman at a Christian college. In a tearful, almost frantic voice, she said, “Mom! Dad! I love you! I love you!”

They replied, “We love you, too, honey. What’s wrong?”

As it turned out, one of her professors had been lecturing on teenage rebellion against parental authority and he made it sound as if a child wasn’t normal if he didn’t rebel at some point. The Hendricks’ daughter had not rebelled and didn’t want to rebel, so she thought that something must be wrong!

In Ephesians 6:1–4, the apostle Paul paints a portrait of a Spirit-filled home. As we’ve seen, Ephesians 5:22–6:9 is built on Ephesians 5:18, showing the results of being filled with the Spirit. The final result of being filled with the Spirit is that we will be subject to one another in the fear of Christ (5:21). Then Paul shows how this works out in family life: wives will be subject to their husbands as to the Lord (5:22–24). Husbands will love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her (5:25–33). Now, he applies it to children and parents (6:1–4). He will go on to apply it to slaves and masters (6:5–9). In 6:1–4, the main idea is:

The Spirit-filled home is one where children obey and honor their parents and fathers nurture their children in the Lord.

In this message, we are going to limit ourselves to 6:1–3, exploring the idea that…

The Spirit-filled home is one where children obey and honor their parents.

After commanding children to obey their parents, Paul cites the fifth of the Ten Commandments, adding a parenthetical comment, “which is the first commandment with a promise.” As you know, the Ten Commandments may be divided into two sections, each reinforcing the two greatest commandments. The first four commands spell out what it means to love the Lord our God: Not to have any other gods before Him; not to make or serve any idols; not to take His name in vain; and, to keep the Sabbath day holy. The last six commands spell out how to love our neighbor as we do, in fact, love ourselves: To honor our parents; not to murder, commit adultery, steal, bear false witness, or covet anything belonging to our neighbor.

Standing at the head of this second section, the commandment to honor our parents is foundational to keeping all the commandments that follow. If we truly honor our parents, we will not disgrace their name by becoming a murderer, or committing adultery, or stealing, or lying, or by the greed and discontent underlying covetousness. So honoring our parents is foundational to all other relationships and duties in life.

The keeping of the fifth commandment also works back toward the first four. “Honor,” the beginning word of the command, is often used of the honor we owe to God (Frank Thielman, Commentary on the New Testament Use of the Old Testament, ed. by G. K. Beale and D. A. Carson [Baker Academic], p. 829; see 1 Sam. 2:30). If we are rebellious and disrespectful toward our parents who gave us life and sustenance, we also probably will be rebellious and disrespectful toward God, our creator and sustainer. Disrespect toward parents and God will also carry over into disrespect for all authority, leading to a breakdown of law and order and the disintegration of the very basis for civilized society. Thus the idea of honoring our parents is not some outmoded, quaint idea to be set aside without consequence. It is vital to the survival of civilization.

To whom is Paul speaking when he says, “Children”? The Greek word can refer to children of varying ages. Obviously Paul is speaking to children old enough to understand the command, because he addresses them directly. They could have ranged from the very young to perhaps even young adults still living at home. As long as a child is single and dependent on his (or her) parents for financial support, he is obligated to obey them, unless they command him to do something that would require disobeying God. Even as adults, we should respect our parents’ counsel and go against it only after careful consideration and prayer. The command to honor our parents is lifelong. So our text applies to all of us whose parents are still alive. If you have children still at home, it is your responsibility to help them understand and obey this important commandment.

1. Children must be filled with the Spirit in order to obey and honor their parents.

To be filled with the Spirit means to be controlled by the Spirit, which happens as we walk daily in submission to the Spirit. This assumes that a child has experienced genuine conversion, so that the Holy Spirit dwells in him. Every parent should pray for and seek to lead his children to genuine saving faith in Christ.

Many Christian parents mistakenly assume that when a child makes a decision to “ask Jesus into his heart,” that child is eternally saved. He may be, but he may not be. It is fairly easy to talk children into asking Jesus into their hearts. But genuine conversion is when God miraculously brings a person from spiritual death to eternal life. The Holy Spirit convinces the person about his sin (John 16:8–11).

He sees his true guilt before a holy God. He also understands that Jesus, the sinless Son of God, died on the cross to satisfy the wrath of God and that every sinner who believes in Jesus receives a full pardon and eternal life as God’s gift. Seeing his own desperate need and seeing God’s gracious gift, he trusts in Jesus Christ as his only hope of heaven. At that point, he receives the indwelling Holy Spirit, who begins the process of sanctification.

I’m not suggesting that a child who is truly born again will always demonstrate the fruits of the Spirit, that he will always cheerfully obey his parents, and that he will always get along with his brothers and sisters! After all, he is immature, both developmentally and spiritually. But, there will be a discernible change in the child’s heart. He will feel bad about his sin. He will want to please Jesus. He will want to learn more about God’s Word and how to grow in Christ. Christian parents should explain to their children that have professed faith in Christ how to be filled with the Spirit, so that they grow in obedience to their parents.

Paul writes (6:1), “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.” By “in the Lord,” Paul does not mean, “Obey your parents only if they are in the Lord” (that is, Christians). Nor does he mean, “Obey your parents only when you think their decisions are in line with what you think the Lord wants.” He means, it is your duty in the Lord to obey your parents. In other words, to please the Lord, you must obey your parents. While grudging obedience is probably better than disobedience, the Lord is pleased by cheerful obedience from the heart (Rom. 6:17). The attitude of a Spirit-filled child should be, “Out of thankfulness to God, who sent His Son to rescue me from judgment, I gladly submit to the authority that He has put over me for my good.” In other words, a child’s obedience to his parents should be the result of his desire to please the Lord.

The only exception to obeying your parents would be if they commanded you to do something that is a clear violation of Scripture. But even then, you must demonstrate to your parents a submissive spirit that seeks to please them. You should respectfully appeal to them and explain your reasons why you cannot obey them in this instance. You should show that it grieves you to have to disobey them. And, you should submit to any punishment they impose without complaint or rebellion, but with a heart of joy in the Lord, that you are counted worthy to suffer for His name. But such times when you must disobey your parents out of obedience to God will probably be rare.

When Paul says to obey your parents “for this is right,” he is pointing out the obvious order that God has ordained. Parents are always older and more experienced than children are. Mark Twain is reputed to have said that when he was 17, he was amazed at how stupid his father was. But by the time he turned 21, he was surprised at how much the old man had learned in four years!

There comes a point, of course, where you move out from under your parents’ authority and are no longer obligated to obey them. Wise parents let the reins go gradually, so that a young person assumes more and more responsibility for his own life, until he is on his own. When is that? It’s not at some arbitrary age, such as 18 or even 21. But a general rule of thumb is, if you are chafing under your parents’ authority, you are probably not ready to be out from under it. Your obedience to your parents shows that you are living under the lordship of Christ and are mature enough to live apart from your parents’ direct authority.

Paul goes on (6:2) without any introduction, such as, “just as Moses wrote,” to cite the fifth commandment. This shows that…

1. Spirit-filled children must honor their parents because God commands it.

Honor goes beyond obedience in that it involves an attitude:

(1). To honor your parents involves an attitude of respect and esteem.

The word “honor” (in Exod. 20:12) is a Hebrew word with a root meaning of “weight” or “heaviness.” It is the same word often translated “glory” in reference to the Lord. To glorify the Lord is to attach the utmost weight or significance to who He is and what He does. It means to assign Him the highest place because He is worthy of it. The opposite of glorifying God is to treat Him lightly, to shrug off Him and His commands as insignificant. Coupled with the idea of weight is that of value, which is the root meaning of the Greek word for honor. Gold and silver are heavy, valuable metals. We say of a valuable man, “He’s worth his weight in gold.”

To honor our parents is to have an attitude of respect for them that stems from the fact that we greatly value them and the contribution they’ve made to our lives. To honor our parents is to assign a high place of value to them. This attitude of respect and esteem will result in loving, courteous behavior towards them.

The opposite of honoring your parents would be to show contempt for them, to despise them in your heart, or to be rude and ungrateful towards them. It’s your heart attitude that matters. If you’re chafing against obeying and honoring your parents, you have a deeper heart problem of rebellion towards God. If you’re grateful to God for His salvation, then you can honor those whom He has placed over you for your blessing and protection.

But maybe you’re thinking, “My parents don’t deserve any honor! Why should I honor them?”

(2). You should honor your parents because God commands it.

God is the sovereign of the universe. His holy law is the final court of appeal! You can’t go over His head! He didn’t give us the Ten Suggestions for a Happy Life, or the Ten Habits of Highly Successful People, although keeping His commandments will result in a happy life. To dishonor your parents is to disobey God, who ordained these commandments for our good (Deut. 6:24). We should keep them because we love and fear God.

(3). You should honor your parents because God promises to bless those who do.

Even if there were no blessings promised, we should obey God because of who He is. But here He graciously attaches a promised blessing. But, Paul’s comment, that this is “the first commandment with a promise,” is a bit puzzling. Scholars point out that the second commandment, not to make any idols, promises that God will show lovingkindness to those who love Him and keep His commands (Exod. 20:4–6). But, as Calvin explains (The Institutes of the Christian Religion [Westminster Press], ed. by John McNeill, 2:8:37), that promise was not confined to that particular command, but extends to the whole law. So the promise attached to the fifth commandment was the first specific promise among the ten and the first of many promised blessings for obedience.

As given to Israel, the promise was that they would dwell in the land of Palestine for a long time (Exod. 20:12) and that things would go well with them there (Deut. 5:16). In Ephesians 6:3, Paul generalizes the promise so as to include Gentile readers, saying, “so that it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the earth.” What does this mean for us?

First, there is a principle that disobedience to parents will result in the breakdown of the foundation of a society. Disobedience to parents is one mark of those whom God has given over to their depraved rebellion (Rom. 1:30). It is a mark of the godlessness of the last days (2 Tim. 3:2). When children disobey and dishonor their parents, they do not respect any authority, including the law of the land. So life does not go well with a disrespectful child, because he may end up in prison or dead.

Second, there is a general principle that obedient children will live long on the earth, whereas disobedient children do not. It is not an ironclad rule. We all know of godly children who have died young, and of sinful rebels who live to a ripe old age. But, those who rebel against parents and get into drinking, drugs, and sexual immorality are more likely to die young than those who avoid such destructive sins. At whatever age we die, whether young or old, we are truly blessed if we have obeyed God, because we have His promise of eternal life, free from all the trials of this life.

But, young people, due to the flesh, often want to be free from parental authority. So they rebel and follow the fashions and sinful activities of the unbelieving youths of our land. But,

3. If you do not obey and honor your parents, you will obey and honor others that do not care about your well being.

As Bob Dylan sings, “You gotta serve somebody.” If you rebel against the authority of your parents and follow the so-called “wisdom” of the world, you have put yourself under Satan’s authority! Those are really the only choices: you submit to God, who has ordained your parents as the authority over you. Or you submit to the devil, the god of this evil world, who has an army of evil people promoting a lifestyle of rebellion against God and His Word. Satan is not a friendly master!

Of course, the devil doesn’t appear as a frightening beast with horns and a pitchfork. He disguises himself as an angel of light, promising you real pleasure and fulfillment. He appeals to your desire for immediate gratification through sex and drugs. He promises you freedom from stifling rules. He appeals to the pride of your intellect, telling you to think for yourself and not accept the outmoded standards of the Bible. But when you follow him, you become a slave of corruption. When you follow God by obeying and honoring your parents, it will be well with you in the long run, although it may be difficult for the present time.

But I must deal briefly with one further question. Some are thinking, “If I had godly, loving parents, I think I could obey and honor them. But my parents are evil people. My father molested me. My mother yells at me and constantly puts me down. How can I possibly honor such parents?” First, let me emphasize, you are not dishonoring God by reporting an abusive parent to the proper authorities. But, assuming that they have not violated the law:

4. If you have difficult, unbelieving parents, you must ask God for wisdom in how best to obey and honor them.

I am not suggesting that this will be easy! But note that God ordained this commandment to honor our parents knowing that there would be sinful parents. He didn’t put in an exception clause! Here are three steps you must take if you have difficult parents:

First, thank God for giving these parents to you, forgive them from your heart, and remove all bitterness towards them. As we saw (Eph. 5:20), we are to give thanks to the Father for all things. If He has sovereignly put you in an unloving family, maybe it is so that the love of Christ will shine from you in that dark situation. But for that to happen, you must submit thankfully to God and you must forgive your parents in your heart and root out all bitterness.

Second, demonstrate a godly attitude toward your parents. Often when young people from a troubled home get saved, they go back home and try to witness to their parents. But they communicate ingratitude and pride. They imply (if not openly state) that the parents have not reared them well. “But now, I’ve found the truth and I’ve come to set you straight.” If the parents do not drop to their knees in repentance, the zealous young believer often responds with defiance or disrespect. But the main way you should bear witness to ungodly parents is by a godly attitude of honor and submission, even when your parents do things to mistreat or provoke you.

Third, practice deeds of love and kindness toward your parents, even when they mistreat you, with a view to leading them to Christ. Even if your parents are selfish pagans who treat you like dirt, you are God’s main link to them with the gospel. Even if they never respond or respond with meanness, you can be kind and caring toward them. If you live in another city, you can write to them, send them cards or gifts on special occasions, or call and let them know that you’re thinking of them and that you care. You certainly should pray often for their salvation, since that is their primary need.

Conclusion

Remember, this is all about reflecting God’s glory in Jesus Christ to a lost world. By obeying and honoring your parents, you are following the example of Jesus Himself, who although He was God in human flesh, “continued in subjection” to His earthly parents (Luke 2:51). Go thou and do likewise!

 

We live in a day of increasing energy shortages. The world has ever-increasing energy demands in the face of ever-decreasing energy supplies. Power outages are becoming more frequent. The cost of heating or cooling our homes and driving our cars continues to escalate. And with all of the global warming talk, the search is on for some kind of clean, renewable energy source. Under these conditions, it would be utterly inconceivable if a great number of people had access to a free and readily available source of energy, but failed to use it.

And yet, many Christians seemingly do this very thing with regard to the Christian life. God has provided us an inexhaustible, free, readily available source of power to live the Christian life. And yet many Christians do not use the power that God has given to overcome temptation and sin. Christian families fall apart because the family members manifest the deeds of the flesh, instead of allowing the Holy Spirit to produce His fruit in their daily relationships. Many Christian workers burn out serving the Lord because they do not avail themselves of the power that God offers through His indwelling Holy Spirit.

And so the subject of our text, the Spirit-filled life, is vital for every Christian to understand and practice. As often has been said, the Christian life is not difficult; it is absolutely impossible, apart from the power of the Holy Spirit. Jesus said (John 15:5b), “apart from Me you can do nothing.” But in the same context, He repeatedly promised to send the Holy Spirit to live in us as the divine Helper (John 14:16–17, 26; 15:26; 16:13). So the Christian life must be the Spirit-filled life. To walk wisely, to redeem the time in these evil days, to understand the will of the Lord and live in light of it, we must be filled with the Spirit.

To live wisely in evil days, you must live continually under the control of the Holy Spirit.

Paul draws a rather startling contrast, which also has some points of comparison (Eph. 5:18): “And do not get drunk with wine, for that is dissipation, but be filled with the Spirit.” Some have argued that since the Greek text did not utilize capital letters, Paul meant, “be filled in [your human] spirit.” But, the same Greek phrase “in [or with] the Spirit,” occurs four other times in Ephesians, and each time it refers clearly to the Holy Spirit (2:18, 22; 3:5; 6:18). Paul was probably thinking of the accusation leveled against the believers who were filled with the Spirit on the Day of Pentecost, that they were drunk with wine (Acts 2:13). So Paul means that rather than be filled with wine, so as to be under its influence, Christians should be filled with the Holy Spirit, so as to be under His influence. The Spirit is the One who empowers and works in and through us, but we have to trust Him to work (Phil. 2:12–13).

Before we examine what it means to be filled with the Spirit, we should take a moment to note…

1. It is sin to deal with evil days by living under the influence of alcohol.

“Do not get drunk with wine, for that is dissipation….” The Bible does not forbid all use of alcoholic beverages, but it does strongly warn about the dangers of alcohol (Prov. 20:1; 23:29–35) and it always condemns drunkenness. “Dissipation,” in modern slang, is to be wasted. It points to the wastefulness and destruction of property, relationships, and life that often go along with drunkenness. The adverb is used (Luke 15:13) of way that the prodigal son wastefully spent his inheritance on loose living. It means to be out of control, because alcohol now controls the person.

As you know, alcohol may become physically addictive and some are more prone to this addiction than others are. The Bible would not call this “addiction,” but rather, “being enslaved to sin.” To label alcoholism as only a disease is not scriptural. The Bible calls it “drunkenness,” a deed of the flesh (Gal. 5:21). Some will say that it’s cruel to label alcoholism as sin, but actually, it’s merciful. If it’s a disease, you may be without hope. But, if it is sin for which you are responsible, the Bible offers a remedy for sin, which includes being born again and being filled with the Holy Spirit.

In the context, where Paul has been talking about the need to walk wisely in this evil day, he is surely making the point that it is foolish to cope with this evil day by turning to alcohol. Christians are not immune from this temptation. It is easy to fall into the trap of dealing with stress by having a drink. Pretty soon, it becomes your comforting routine. You get home from a stressful day and you have a drink to calm your nerves. Or, there is tension in your home, so you have a few beers and forget about the problems. Before you know it, you’re dependent on the alcohol for your inner peace. But, as believers in the living God, He is to be our peace in times of trouble (Ps. 94:19; John 16:33; 1 Pet. 5:7). To turn to alcohol, instead of Jesus Christ, for peace is to fall into sin.

2. The wise way to deal with evil days is to live continually under the control of the Holy Spirit.

I want to deal with the last half of verse 18 by answering three questions: (1) What is the filling of the Holy Spirit? (2) How can I experience the Spirit-filled life? (3) How can I know that I am filled with the Spirit?

Question 1: what is the filling of the Holy Spirit?

Because of much confusion in our day, I must first spell out what it is and then clarify what it is not:

1. What it is:

(1). To be filled with the Spirit is to live with every conscious area of your life yielded to the Spirit’s control.

Just as the person filled with wine is under the influence or control of the wine, so the person filled with the Spirit is under the Spirit’s control. Furthermore, Paul is talking here primarily about a condition of increasing spiritual maturity, not about a momentary experience. Martyn Lloyd-Jones states (Life in the Spirit [Baker], p. 49), “This is not a critical experience, this is a state or a condition in which we are to live always, permanently.” He goes on to point out that because Paul commands it, we are not to be passive as we wait for some experience. Rather, it is something that we must obey. The present tense of the verb indicates an ongoing condition, so that the person may be characterized as “full of the Holy Spirit.”

For example, Luke 4:1 describes Jesus as “full of the Holy Spirit.” In Acts 6:3, the apostles direct the early church to select “seven men of good reputation, full of the Spirit and of wisdom,” to help with the need of serving the widows. One of the men, Stephen, is described (6:5) as “a man full of faith and of the Holy Spirit.” Later (Acts 11:24), Barnabas is described as “a good man, and full of the Holy Spirit and of faith.”

So the phrase, “full of the Holy Spirit,” describes a person who habitually lives with every area of his life under the control of the Spirit. He is not a self-willed man, but a Spirit-controlled man. The fullness of the Spirit does not mean that he once had a dramatic experience, but rather that he has consistently walked with his life yielded to the Holy Spirit, so that the fruit of the Spirit characterizes his life.

(2). To be filled with the Spirit is to live with the Word of God permeating every area of your life.

Ephesians 5:18 is obviously parallel with Colossians 3:16. Both texts are followed by joyful singing, thankfulness to God, and instructions about wives and husbands, children and parents, and slaves and masters. But in Colossians 3:16, rather than saying, “be filled with the Spirit,” Paul says, “Let the word of Christ richly dwell within you.” H. A. Ironside observes (In the Heavenlies [Loizeaux Brothers], p. 269),

There is an old rule in mathematics that “things equal to the same thing are equal to one another.” If to be filled with the Word is equal in result to being filled with the Spirit, then it should be clear that the Word-filled Christian is the Spirit-filled Christian. As the Word of Christ dwells in us richly, controls all our ways, as we walk in obedience to the Word, the Spirit of God fills, dominates, and controls us to the glory of the Lord Jesus Christ.

So to be a Spirit-filled Christian, you must be growing in your understanding and application of God’s Word.

(3). To be filled with the Spirit involves an ever-deepening relationship with God through the Spirit.

We need to remember that the Holy Spirit is a Person, not a force. To be filled with the Spirit is not a mechanical formula that you go through, where you “pull the Holy Spirit lever” and all the goodies come pouring out. Rather, it is a relationship with the Triune God through His indwelling Spirit.

This relationship is ever-deepening, which means that there is a difference between a newer Spirit-filled believer and a more mature Spirit-filled believer. Both are filled, but the mature saint is more filled than the young believer is. There are degrees of filling that correspond with degrees of spiritual understanding and surrender. As you grow in the Word, the Spirit reveals new areas that you need to surrender to His control. So your capacity for being filled with the Spirit expands over time.

(4). To be filled with the Spirit includes special times of God granting extraordinary power for service.

In Acts 2:4, we read that all that were gathered in the upper room on the Day of Pentecost were filled with the Spirit. Peter went on to preach to the crowd, resulting in over 3,000 conversions. But then Acts 4:8, without any indication that Peter has lost his previous filling with the Spirit, we read that he was filled again just before he spoke to another crowd. It was a special anointing for a special task. Later, when Peter and John gathered with the church to report about their arrest, after they all had prayed, they all were filled with the Spirit, so that they began to speak the word of God with boldness (4:31). You see the same thing with Paul: he was filled with the Spirit just after his conversion when Ananias spoke with him (Acts 9:17). Some years later, on the first missionary journey when he had to confront Elymas the magician, he was filled with the Holy Spirit for that event (13:9).

Andrew Murray (The Spirit of Christ [Nisbet & Co. Ltd.], pp. 303–305) has a helpful analogy. In the drought-stricken South Africa, where he lived, farmers built two types of reservoirs for catching water. Some were spring fed, so that a gentle, slow inflow of water filled the reservoir. But other farms lacked such a spring and built the reservoirs to catch the rainwater, often in a matter of a few hours when there was a downpour. The spring-fed reservoir was the more certain, because it ran steadily. Although it was not especially powerful, it supplied the need. The rain-fed reservoir was more impressive when it rained, with a powerful rush of water, but it could stand empty for months if there was no rain. The ideal reservoir included both: it was fed from a steady spring to keep it supplied for daily needs, but it also had a capacity to take in a gush of water when a thunderstorm hit.

Murray then applies this to these two aspects of the filling of the Holy Spirit. We need that steady, quiet flow of His power for our daily needs, to overcome sin and to live in a godly manner. But there are special occasions where we need the downpour, the gush of the Spirit’s power to enable us to preach or witness or counsel or whatever the need. The special filling only supplements the normal, habitual filling. It would be rare for a person who is not walking daily in the fullness of the Spirit to receive a special filling for some sudden need. The normal experience of the Spirit’s filling is to live with every conscious area of your life yielded to the Spirit’s control. Then He may grant the special filling to meet a special need.

Because there is a lot of confusion about the filling of the Spirit in Christian circles, I must say a brief word about…

1. What it is not:

(1). The filling of the Spirit is not the same as the baptism or sealing of the Spirit.

Often you will hear that you must receive the baptism of the Spirit subsequent to your salvation. This is supposedly based on certain passages in Acts, where the baptism of the Spirit and the filling of the Spirit are equated. Also, some argue that the sealing of the Spirit is an experience to be sought subsequent to salvation. Martyn Lloyd-Jones equated the baptism and the sealing as experiences to be sought.

My understanding is that while the initial outpouring or giving of the Holy Spirit in Acts is identified both as the baptism of the Spirit and the filling of the Spirit (Acts 1:5; 2:4; 11:15–16), after that transitional period, all believers are baptized by the Spirit into the body of Christ (1 Cor. 10:13). All believers are indwelled by the Holy Spirit from the moment of conversion (Rom. 8:9; Gal. 3:1–5). And, all believers are sealed with the Spirit the moment they are saved (Eph. 1:13; 4:30; 2 Cor. 1:22). We are never commanded to be baptized in the Spirit or to be sealed with the Spirit, but we are commanded to be filled with the Spirit. The baptism and sealing of the Spirit are facts to be believed. The filling of the Spirit is a habitual condition that we must seek.

(2). The filling of the Spirit is not a once and for all experience that elevates you to a higher plane.

Sometimes, in charismatic circles and in devotional literature, being filled with the Spirit is promoted as a one-time, dramatic experience that will transport you to a higher spiritual plane. Sometimes this is presented as arriving at a place where all temptation barely touches you for the rest of your life. Or, those who have this life-transforming experience see amazing results in their ministries from this point forward, while at the same time they exert less effort. I have read accounts of this in the lives of D. L. Moody, R. A. Torrey, and Hudson Taylor, among others.

But I find this kind of teaching to be detrimental. I want to experience all of the Spirit’s fullness and power that He is pleased to give me. But it is not helpful or biblically sound to think that I should seek a dramatic experience that removes me from the daily battles against sin or the difficulties, setbacks, and frustrations that inevitably go along with ministry in a fallen world. Paul had these difficulties right up to his death. Being filled with the Spirit does not shortcut the need to discipline myself for the purpose of godliness. It will not advance me to instant maturity or deliver me from difficult situations that require steadfast perseverance.

(3). The filling of the Spirit is not an irrational, emotional experience.

Some of the claims to revival include accounts of people barking like dogs, laughing uncontrollably, or lying in a catatonic state for hours or days. Or, sometimes it is said that if you have not spoken in tongues or been slain in the Spirit, where you pass out and fall over backwards, you have not been filled with the Spirit.

But even if the gift of tongues is valid for today, Paul is clear that not all speak in tongues (1 Cor. 12:30), but all are to be filled with the Spirit. As for being slain in the Spirit or the other weird manifestations, there are no valid biblical examples or exhortations to these things. They do not lead to growth in godliness.

Question 2: How can I experience the Spirit-filled life?

I have already covered a lot of this in explaining what the filling of the Spirit is and is not. I must be very brief:

1. You need to understand certain facts.

As we’ve seen, if you have believed in Christ as your Savior and Lord, God has given you the Holy Spirit to indwell you. He commands you to be filled with the Spirit, which primarily means living with every conscious area of your life yielded moment-by-moment to the indwelling Holy Spirit.

1. You must recognize and acknowledge that you are empty.

You will not seek the Spirit’s control and power unless you recognize your own inadequacy and need. Often, it is a major failure or sin that drives you to your knees to cry out for the Spirit’s filling and power, so that you will not fall the next time.

1. You must confess and forsake all known sin and yield every area of your life to God.

The Holy Spirit will not fill a dirty vessel. “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9). We must present ourselves to God as those alive from the dead and yield our minds and bodies to Him as instruments of righteousness (Rom. 6:13).

1. You must walk by faith, not feelings.

Walking implies repeated, moment-by-moment reliance on the Spirit of God (Gal. 5:16). There will be battles between the flesh and the Spirit, even in a believer who is fully yielded to Him (Gal. 5:17–18). The Spirit-filled believer will still have strong desires of the flesh. Our enemy will entice us and wage war against us. In all of these situations, acknowledge your own weakness and cry out to God by faith, that He would control you and give you His strength. Faith is also coupled with obedience, so that you avoid and flee from tempting situations.

1. You must dwell in God’s Word.

We have already seen this, but especially it is important to saturate your mind with the Word, memorizing it or being so familiar with it that God can use it when you don’t have a Bible or concordance ready at hand (which is most of the time!).

As you walk this way, confessing and turning from sin, relying on the indwelling Spirit for His power, being obedient to His Word, you will develop a habit of holiness. At first, like a toddler learning to walk, you will fall a lot. Get up and keep walking. Pretty soon, walking becomes the norm. You’ll experience the Spirit’s fullness in an ever-expanding capacity. He will control or influence your thoughts, your emotions, your words, your attitudes, your schedule, your relationships, your finances, and all of life. He does not do this as a master controls a robot, but rather, using your unique personality and gifts, He fills you as the wind fills the sails of a ship, directing you in His paths of righteousness and joy.

Question 3: How can I know that I am filled with the Holy Spirit?

I can only mention two things in passing.

1. The Spirit-filled life produces ever-deepening Christlikeness.

You and those who know you best will be able to see steady, progressive growth. Like a child’s growth, it isn’t always discernible day by day, but as you look back, you should see definite change toward godliness. This includes Christlike character. The fruit of the Spirit—love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control—will be growing in your life.

You will also be growing in Christlike conduct. You will experience consistent victory over the deeds of the flesh (Gal. 5:19–21). These sins will be replaced by good deeds of Christlike service and love to others for Christ’s sake.

1. The Spirit-filled life results in heartfelt worship and thankfulness to God, along with godly relationships.

These are the results that Paul enumerates from Ephesians 5:19–6:9. We will look at them in detail in future messages.

Conclusion

I conclude by asking, Are you filled with the Holy Spirit? Would those closest to you agree? If the Holy Spirit pulled out of your life for a week, would you miss Him? Or, would life go on pretty much as usual? God has called us to a supernatural life of daily dependence on His Holy Spirit. You can begin right now!

 

Spirit-filled Singing (Ephesians 5:19)

 

As a little boy sat in church, his eyes were drawn to a large flag mounted on the wall, with a number of gold stars attached to it. He whispered to his father, “Daddy, why does that flag have all those stars on it?” His dad whispered back, “To remind us of all those who died in the service.” The boy thought about that for a moment and then whispered again, “Did they die in the morning service or the evening service?”

While humorous, that story hits painfully close to home. At some church services it seems like those sitting there either are dead or at a funeral! They listlessly stare at the screen where the words are projected or they stare out the window or read the bulletin or look at their watch to see how much longer they must endure this ordeal. They don’t sing with enthusiasm and evident joy in the Lord.

If a visitor not used to going to church came in, he would not conclude that anything significant was going on. He would certainly not deduce that our God is a God of great joy, whose Holy Spirit produces joy in His people. He might rightly wonder why such apathetic people even bother to go to church at all, since they seem bored by the whole thing.

Our text, “speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody with your heart to the Lord,” gives us the first result of being filled with the Holy Spirit (5:18). Rather than being drunk with wine and singing bawdy, raucous songs, those that are filled with the Spirit should sing to the Lord from the heart, with great joy and thankfulness (5:20). In the parallel text (Col. 3:16), Paul commands, “Let the word of Christ richly dwell within you, with all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another with psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with thankfulness in your hearts to God.” Paul’s point is:

Spirit-filled people will manifest it by spiritual singing.

John MacArthur (The MacArthur New Testament Commentary, Ephesians [Moody Press], p. 256) writes, “The first consequence of the Spirit-filled life that Paul mentioned was not mountain-moving faith, an ecstatic spiritual experience, dynamic speaking ability, or any other such thing. It was simply a heart that sings.” Joyful, exuberant, heart-felt singing is one evidence that a church is Spirit-filled. Lifeless, listless, apathetic “worship” is not worship at all. It is a sinful disregard of the majesty and grace of our great God and it shows that we are not under the control of His Spirit, who produces overflowing joy in His people (Rom. 14:17; 15:13; Gal. 5:22). It reveals that we are not captured by God’s abundant grace and we are not thankful for His many blessings to us.

1. Spiritual singing stems from being filled with God’s Spirit and His Word.

As we saw in our last study, the close parallel between Ephesians 5:18 and Colossians 3:16 shows that to be filled with God’s Spirit is closely related to being filled with His Word. And a main result of being filled with the Spirit and the Word is to break forth in joyful singing. This is not a matter of having a bubbly personality; many of us don’t have and never will have bubbly personalities. But joy is promised to every believer who walks by the Holy Spirit (Gal. 5:16, 22). As the Spirit of God reveals to you the unfathomable riches of Jesus Christ that have been poured out on you by grace alone, you cannot help but be filled with praise and thankfulness to God, and that praise overflows in singing.

Many years ago, I resisted the idea that worship necessarily involved our emotions. That struck me as being “charismatic” or anti-intellectual. But reading A. W. Tozer (“Worship: the Missing Jewel in the Evangelical Church” [Christian Publications]) and then Jonathan Edwards (“A Treatise on Religious Affections,” in The Works of Jonathan Edwards [Banner of Truth]) showed me that I was wrong. Genuine worship stems from our hearts being overwhelmed by the majesty and greatness of God.

So if you recognize that you are not singing with your heart to the Lord, that you are apathetic about worshiping Him, confess your coldness of heart to Him. Ask Him to open your eyes to see more of His glory. Feed your mind on His Word and ask Him to reveal the riches of Christ to your soul. As He fills you with His Spirit, it will overflow into heartfelt praise and singing.

2. Spiritual singing must be both individual and corporate.
3. Spiritual singing must be individual.

Paul says, “singing and making melody with your heart to the Lord.” It must begin in your heart or it is just hypocrisy or pumped up emotions. So begin by examining your heart.

The reason you need to begin by examining your heart is that we are commanded often in Scripture to praise God in song. This means that not to sing to the Lord from a heart that is overflowing with His goodness is sin. Although I have not personally confirmed it, I have heard that the most frequent command in the Bible is, “Sing!” And so I ask, “Do you sing?” You may say, “I can’t carry a tune in a bucket!” I can relate to that remark! I can’t hit the notes of many songs. I get frustrated when I try to sing, because it sounds so bad. But, I can’t dodge the repeated command, “Sing to the Lord!” Let’s look at a few:

Psalm 5:11: “But let all who take refuge in You be glad, let them ever sing for joy; and may You shelter them, that those who love Your name may exult in You.”

Psalm 33:1–3: “Sing for joy in the Lord, O you righteous ones; praise is becoming to the upright. Give thanks to the Lord with the lyre; sing praises to Him with a harp of ten strings. Sing to Him a new song; play skillfully with a shout of joy.”

Psalm 95:1: “O come, let us sing for joy to the Lord, let us shout joyfully to the rock of our salvation.”

Psalm 96:1–2: “Sing to the Lord a new song; sing to the Lord, all the earth. Sing to the Lord, bless His name; proclaim good tidings of His salvation from day to day.”

Psalm 98:1: “O sing to the Lord a new song, for He has done wonderful things, His right hand and His holy arm have gained the victory for Him.”

Psalm 100:1–2: “Shout joyfully to the Lord, all the earth. Serve the Lord with gladness; come before Him with joyful singing.”

Psalm 147:1: “Praise the Lord! For it is good to sing praises to our God; for it is pleasant and praise is becoming.”

Psalm 149:1: “Praise the Lord! Sing to the Lord a new song, and His praise in the congregation of the godly ones.”

You may think, “But I don’t feel like singing. Wouldn’t I be a hypocrite if I sang when I didn’t feel like it?”

It’s at those times that we need to confess our coldness of heart to the Lord and ask Him to lift our eyes to all of His blessings that He has freely given us. I’ve found that often when I’m feeling down, if I put on a praise CD or just begin singing praises to the Lord, my spirit is lifted. That’s often what the psalmists did. At the beginning of the psalm, they were overwhelmed by trials. But by the end of the psalm, just from rehearsing God’s faithfulness and His attributes, the whole mood of the psalmist has shifted to joyful praise, even though his circumstances are exactly as they were at the beginning. So we need to sing to the Lord individually. Also,

1. Spiritual singing must be corporate.

Many of the psalms that we just read have a corporate context. Our text says, “speaking to one another in psalms….” The Colossians parallel shows that we are to teach and admonish one another through singing. I’ve heard it said that we should only sing songs that address the Lord. But this verse implies that there is a place for songs that do not directly address the Lord, but rather exhort one another to go on with the Lord: “O worship the King, all glorious above.” “Come, now is the time to worship!”

Down through history, God’s people have been characterized by spiritual singing. Whenever the Spirit of God is manifested and God is working in an obvious way, His people express themselves in joyful singing. Here are some examples:

*Songs celebrating God’s deliverance and salvation—The earliest recorded song in the Bible is the Song of Moses (Exod. 15:1–18). Verses 20–21 say that Miriam led the women with timbrels (small hand drums or tambourines) and dancing. It all sounds a bit exuberant! Another example is the Song of Deborah (Judges 5:1–31), which they sang after she led a great victory over Israel’s enemies.

*Songs celebrating God’s blessings—Many of the psalms reflect on God’s blessings, but especially Psalm 103, which is pure praise. It begins (103:1–2), “Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless His holy name. Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget none of His benefits.” Then it proceeds to enumerate many of those benefits. Or, in Psalm 18, David sings God’s praise for 50 verses because the Lord had delivered him from the hand of Saul and from all his enemies. The Holy Spirit apparently didn’t want us to miss that psalm, because it is repeated in 1 Samuel 22!

*Songs celebrating anticipated victories by faith—In 2 Chronicles 20, Israel was facing an imminent invasion by some powerful enemies. King Jehoshaphat called for national prayer and fasting. When the Lord promised victory through one of the prophets in the assembly, the king did a daring thing. Rather than sending out his warriors at the front, he sent out singers before the army, who sang (20:21), “Give thanks to the Lord, for His lovingkindness is everlasting.” Then we read that when they began singing, the Lord set ambushes against the enemy so that they began fighting against each other. All Israel had to do was to collect the spoils. Many of the psalms have the same theme. The psalmist is praising the Lord even though his outward circumstances have not changed in the slightest. He does it by faith that the Lord will give victory.

*Songs celebrating God’s sufficiency in our suffering—When Paul and Silas were falsely accused and then wrongly beaten and thrown into prison and put in the stocks, their response was to sing praises to God (Acts 16:25). The Lord sent an earthquake, leading to the conversion of the Philippian jailer and his family. Many of the great hymns of the faith have come down to us out of someone’s experience of God’s sufficiency during their time of suffering.

*Songs celebrating God’s glorious attributes and His mighty deeds. Again, many of the Psalms rehearse God’s righteousness, faithfulness, power, lovingkindness, and His tender care. They often go over how the Lord has been faithful to Israel in spite of their long history of rebellion and stubbornness.

If you don’t like to sing, you’re not going to like heaven, because it will be full of singing. Revelation 5:9 records, “And they sang a new song, saying ‘Worthy are You to take the book and to break its seals; for You were slain, and purchased for God with Your blood men from every tribe and tongue and people and nation’” (see also, 14:3). The song of Moses is the first song in the Bible and it’s also the last (Rev. 15:3–4): “And they sang the song of Moses, the bond-servant of God, and the song of the Lamb, saying, ‘Great and marvelous are Your works, O Lord God Almighty; righteous and true are Your ways, King of the nations! Who will not fear, O Lord, and glorify Your name? For You alone are holy; for all the nations will come and worship before You, for Your righteous acts have been revealed.’”

Throughout church history, God’s people have sung His praises corporately, especially during times of trial and revival. In A.D. 112, Pliny wrote a letter to the Emperor Trajan about the Christians, who were under persecution. Among other things, he reported that they sang an anthem to Christ as God (cited in Eerdmans Handbook to the History of Christianity, ed. by Tim Dowley [Eerdmans], p. 124). During the Reformation, Luther revived congregational singing, which had languished during the Dark Ages. Historian Kenneth Scott Latourette states (A History of Christianity [Harper & Row], p. 721), “Congregational singing was one of his great joys and he took the initiative in encouraging it and giving it a large part in the liturgy and other services.” Luther himself played the lute (a ten-stringed, guitar-like instrument), wrote many hymns, and issued a hymnal.

About the time that the Wesley’s were born, Isaac Watts published the first of several hymnals. He was quite controversial because he promoted the use of man-made hymns (as opposed to using only the psalms). He wrote over 600 hymns, including, “When I Survey the Wondrous Cross,” and “Joy to the World.” Later in the 18^th century, the converted slave-trader, John Newton, and his melancholic friend, William Cowper, produced the Olney Hymns. Newton wrote the still-popular “Amazing Grace,” plus, “Glorious Things of Thee are Spoken,” and many more. Cowper wrote “There is a Fountain Filled with Blood,” and others.

Some churches no longer sing the great hymns of the past. Other churches have a traditional service that sings hymns and a contemporary service that sings only modern music. I think that both approaches are in error. To abandon the great hymns is to cut yourself off from the great heritage of the faith that has come down to us. Also, these hymns have solid doctrine that make you think about the great truths of the faith. You need this to grow strong and not be tossed around by every wind of doctrine.

To divide the church into traditional and contemporary factions is wrong because we all need to learn from one another. Some of the modern music is vacuous or theologically shallow and ought to be trashed. But, frankly, so are some of the traditional hymns. The test of all music should be, does it have sound doctrine? Does it exalt our glorious God and Savior? Does it humble us in His presence? Do the words and the tune fit together? You shouldn’t have an upbeat, happy song about Jesus on the cross. Is it good poetry?

I’m encouraged by some of the newer hymns being written, such as “Grace Unmeasured,” and “How Deep the Father’s Love.” Also, several of the great older hymns can be played to more modern accompaniment, such as “Before the Throne of God Above,” and, “Jesus, I my Cross Have Taken.” We would be impoverished to lose these!

Sometimes you have to work through outdated language or terms to understand the older hymns. Sometimes, the hymns expose our biblical ignorance or our modern errors. Many modern Christians have no clue when they sing the second verse of “Come Thou Fount.” It goes, “Here I raise mine Ebenezer; hither by Thy help I’m come.” Robert Robinson got that line from 1 Samuel 7:12. An Ebenezer was a “stone of help,” referring to the Lord’s help in delivering Israel from the Philistines.

Many hymnals have changed Isaac Watts’ line, “Would He devote that sacred head for such a worm as I.” “Worm” is a bit too strong for our inflated self-esteem, so it’s toned down to, “for sinners such as I.” But Watts took the word “worm” right out of Psalm 22:6, where Jesus on the cross in our place calls himself a worm. If He called Himself a worm as he bore our sin, who are we to think more highly of ourselves?

Sadly, we’ve lost many great hymns that sustained the saints in the past. Some of you don’t know the hymns that I’ve just referred to! I’m not suggesting that we sing only the old hymns, but I am saying that it is a tragedy not to sing any of them. We should strive to pass on to our children and grandchildren the great hymns that we still possess.

Paul’s three words to describe singing, “psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs,” mainly show that there should be variety in our worship. Psalms probably refers to the psalms of the Old Testament. Hymns refers to hymns of praise to God. There may be some examples of this in the New Testament, such as Ephesians 5:14. Songs was a generic word for any kind of song, but Paul qualifies them as spiritual. Since God is manifold in His grace and glory, our singing should reflect this variety.

3. Some practical suggestions for spiritual singing:

I conclude by giving some practical suggestions. Again, I remind you that I am not a good singer and because of that, it is difficult for me to practice this on a personal level. But praising God through singing is not optional. If we don’t work at it both personally and corporately, we are not obedient to Him.

(1) Ask God to put a song on your heart each day. Even if you can’t sing, you can hum it or think about the words, so you’ll be singing God’s praises throughout the day. If you commute by car (alone), turn off the radio and sing. Invest in and play good Christian music, including some of the great hymns of the faith.

(2) Use a songbook or hymnal along with your Bible in personal devotions sometimes. This will help you memorize some of the words. When you sing with the church on Sundays, if you know the words, close your eyes and think about what you are singing. Madison Avenue uses jingles to keep their products in your mind. Memorizing some good Christian songs and hymns can keep the things of God in your mind during the day.

(3) Prepare your heart before you arrive on Sunday mornings. The Jews began their Sabbath the evening before, and that’s not a bad idea. At the very least, get up early enough on Sunday to spend some time with the Lord, worshiping Him and preparing your heart to gather with the saints in worship. Arrive a few minutes early.

(4) Put your all into corporate worship. It is a sin to be apathetic in worship. I heard of a couple, married for 25 years, who went to a marriage counselor. The wife complained that her husband never told her that he loved her. He snapped, “I told you that 25 years ago and I haven’t changed my mind!” That’s not good enough! Love has to be expressed. Even a cold, “I love you” isn’t as good as a warm embrace. Let the Lord know that you love Him and forget about what others around you may think.

(5) Think about what you are singing. Wake up! Be alert! To mumble through words without thinking about their significance is to honor God with your lips, while your heart is far from Him (Mark 7:6). If you can’t sing the words honestly, confess it to the Lord. If you need to apply it, ask Him for grace. Engage your brain!

Conclusion

Our time of singing is not just something we do to fill the time before all the latecomers arrive. It is not a time to manipulate our emotions, to get everyone pumped up with moving music. It is a time to worship God in spirit and in truth. It should engage our minds, our emotions, and our bodies as we exalt our glorious God and His great salvation. Be filled with the Spirit and sing with all your heart to the Lord!^[1]

^[1] Steven J. Cole, “Lesson 45: Spirit-Filled Singing (Ephesians 5:19),” in Ephesians, Steven J. Cole Commentary Series (Dallas: Galaxie Software, 2017), Eph 5:19.

If you’ve ever done any boating, you know that it is essential to have a means of steering and a source of power. You need both. If you are cruising off the coast and lose your ability to steer, all the power in the world won’t do you any good. You’re at the mercy of the wind and the currents. Or, if you can steer, but you have no power, again you’re in big trouble. You may drift into rocks or hidden reefs.

These two necessities become even more essential if you are navigating through dangerous seas. You would also need an accurate navigational chart and a means of determining your own location, so that you know exactly where the obstacles are and can avoid them. Without these, disaster is almost certain.

The Christian life is much the same. The enemy has planted traps and mines to wipe you out. There are dangerous rocks and reefs that can cause you to shipwreck your faith. To navigate safely through, you must be very careful. You must have a means of direction, a source of power, and pay close attention to the chart.

That is Paul’s subject in our text: walking carefully as children of light in an evil day. “Therefore” points back to the preceding context, where we saw that as Christians, we are now children of light (5:8). Yet we are walking in a world that is morally and spiritually dark. We are not to cover our light and blend in with the darkness. Rather are to expose the unfruitful deeds of darkness as sin and dispel the darkness by leading sinners to Christ.

Therefore, because of these dangerous waters through which we are navigating, Paul now says, “Look carefully how you walk!” Look carefully means to consider with exactness and precision. It was an accounting term. If you’re keeping the books for an organization or just balancing your checkbook, it is vital to be exact. You can’t say, “Is that a 10 or 100? Oh, well, it doesn’t matter. Let’s call it 100.” You must be precise.

Or, if you’re a soldier on patrol in a minefield, you must know where the mines are placed and be careful to avoid them. Paul is saying that we must walk that way as believers. We must choose our steps carefully, because the enemy has strewn the path with dangerous obstacles that will cause us serious harm if we are careless. The days are evil!

And yet, many Christians just saunter through the minefield with no awareness of the grave danger that they face. They are flirting with serious danger, and yet they aren’t paying attention. Paul gives us three essentials if we want to walk carefully in this evil day, to avoid spiritual disaster. Today I am giving an overview of these verses, which open a section that runs through 6:9. Then in five subsequent messages, I plan to go back through them in more detail. If there is any repetition, hopefully it will serve to cement these vital truths in your thinking. Paul is saying,

To walk carefully in this evil day, you must use your time wisely, understand the will of the Lord, and be filled with the Holy Spirit.

1. To walk carefully in this evil day, you must use your time wisely (5:15–16).

Paul writes (5:15–16, literal translation), “Therefore, look carefully how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise, redeeming the time because the days are evil.” Note three things:

1. To walk carefully, you must think carefully about how you will spend your life in this evil day.

This is Paul’s final use of the word “walk” in Ephesians (cf. 2:2, 10; 4:1, 17; 5:1, 8). “Walk” pictures our way of life, worked out in a daily, step-by-step process. In Paul’s day, people didn’t just walk for exercise. They walked to get to a destination. So to walk spiritually pictures steady progress toward a definite goal.

“Look carefully” implies that if you are careless about how you walk, how you spend your time each day, you will not get through life without serious mishap. You will step on a mine or be attacked by the enemy or wander around hopelessly lost. The Gentiles walk in the futility of their mind, being darkened in their understanding, giving themselves over to sensuality and greed (4:17–19). But Christians are not to walk in that manner. We must walk carefully, because the days are evil. Without deliberate carefulness, the evil that surrounds us will overwhelm us.

This is one reason that I urge you prayerfully to write out a one-sentence purpose statement for your life. It should describe what you think God wants you to be if you live to be 80. You should base it on biblically determined criteria. Then, underneath that purpose statement, write out some short-term goals that will move you toward your life purpose in each area (spiritual, relational, intellectual, moral, physical, financial, and vocational). Look at it often and readjust as necessary. If you just drift through life without thinking carefully about how to spend your time, you will not end up where God wants you to be.

1. To walk wisely, you must skillfully apply God’s Word to your life.

Paul draws the first of several contrasts, “not as unwise men, but as wise.” Wisdom is a huge theme in the Bible, especially in the Old Testament, where Job, many of the Psalms, Proverbs, and Ecclesiastes are called, “wisdom literature.” The basic meaning of the Hebrew word for “wisdom” was “skill.” The wise man had the skill to live properly. At the root of wise living is the fear of the Lord: “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding” (Prov. 9:10).

Thus the wise person lives in a godly, skillful manner, thus producing a beautiful finished product that brings glory to the Lord. The only way to accomplish this is to follow the divine plan, given to us in Scripture. Just as God gave Moses the plan for the tabernacle, and skillful men crafted the beautiful final product, so we must follow God’s directions if we want our lives to be beautiful for Him. The Bible tells us the godly character qualities that we need to develop. It warns us about the many temptations to sin that will harm or destroy us. It tells us how to determine our life-priorities so that we will make the best use of the years the Lord gives us. As Moses prayed (Ps. 90:12), “So teach us to number our days, that we may present to You a heart of wisdom.”

1. To use your time wisely, you must use every opportunity for the will of God.

“Making the most of your time” (5:16a) is literally, “redeeming the time.” To redeem means to buy back. The implication is that time is in bondage and that a price must be paid to buy it back. The Greek word here for “time” does not view time as extended, but rather time as opportunities. The idea is that God gives us choice moments to seize for His purposes. We must be alert to His purposes and ready to grab those opportunities, like a shrewd merchant sees an opportunity for a profit and grabs it. Redeeming the time has special reference (both here and in Col. 4:5) to Christian witness in the world (F. F. Bruce, The Epistles to the Colossians, to Philemon, and to the Ephesians [Eerdmans], pp. 378–379).

For the unbeliever, life is in bondage to futility and meaninglessness (4:17–19). He goes through school, gets a job, starts a family, raises the family, retires from his job, and hopes that his health lasts long enough to cruise through all the national parks and take videos, or to catch a lot of fish. Then he dies. Throughout the process, he spends ten years of his life watching mindless TV shows. What’s the point? His time was in bondage to futility.

But the Christian can buy back those otherwise wasted hours and use the opportunities for eternal significance. He grabs every opportunity to grow to know Christ and be conformed to His image. He rears his children to know and follow Christ. He works to bring others to know Christ and grow in Him. He is a steward of his resources for God’s kingdom purposes, investing wisely in opportunities to further the gospel around the globe. By walking carefully in this evil world, he buys back opportunities for God’s kingdom purposes.

But, the word “redeem” implies that there is a cost. You must say no to certain secondary things in order to say yes to the crucial. You must say no to hours of TV or computer games in order to say yes to reading and studying God’s Word. You must say no to selfish activities that pull you away from God’s kingdom purposes. You must say no to certain ways of squandering your money on worldly pursuits in order to say yes to eternal riches. To walk carefully, you must use your time wisely.

2. To walk carefully, you must understand the will of the Lord (5:17).

Paul continues with another contrast, “So then [because the days are evil] do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is.” The will of the Lord is the navigation chart that tells us where we’re going and how to get there. Just as it would be foolish beyond imagination to put out to sea with no idea of where you’re going or how to get there, the same is true in life. When I was in the Coast Guard, there was one crucial question you asked when you took over the helm: “What course are you steering?” The captain determined the course. If he said, “Steer at 280, I wasn’t free to steer at 180!” My job was to keep the boat headed at 280, against the wind and currents that would have pulled us off course.

The Lord wants you to understand His will so that you can keep your life on course. Verse 17 isn’t talking primarily about whether you go to this or that school or take this or that job. Rather, in the context of Ephesians the will of the Lord refers to something much bigger.

1. You must understand the will of the Lord, which involves His ultimate purpose for creation.

To understand means to grasp with the mind, which implies some effort on your part. The Lord’s will is revealed in His Word and Paul has mentioned it several times in Ephesians. He began the book (1:1) by referring to himself as “an apostle of Christ Jesus by the will of God.” He goes on to say (1:5) that God “predestined us to adoption as sons through Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the kind intention of His will.” He said (1:9) that God “made known to us the mystery of His will, according to His kind intention which He purposed in Him.” And, he said (1:11) that “we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to His purpose who works all things after the counsel of His will.”

In short, God’s will relates to His eternal purpose to be glorified by summing up all things in Christ. He does this by saving His elect (Jews and Gentiles) and bringing both groups together as one in His dwelling place, the church, which manifests His wisdom to the rulers and authorities in the heavenly places (3:10). You must work to grasp that purpose with your mind so that you can live your life in line with it.

1. You must apply the will of the Lord to your life.

In other words, you must live daily in light of God’s purpose to be glorified in Christ through His church as that church grows in holiness to become His pure and spotless bride (5:27). This entails several things:

*You must submit to the lordship of Jesus Christ over all your life. You will not glorify Him if you reserve certain areas of your life to do as you please. Rather, you must learn what is pleasing to Him (5:10) and live accordingly, seeking to glorify Him in every thought, attitude, word, and deed.

*You must be committed to Christ’s church. If God is working out His eternal purpose through the church, then His people must be committed to the church. To be casual in your connection to the church is not to be committed to what God is committed to.

*You must be committed to harmony with other believers in the church and in your home. God’s will involves bringing these two formerly diverse, hostile groups, Jew and Gentile, together as one in the church under Christ’s headship (2:11–22). Through this means, He displays His glory to the angelic hosts (3:10). Therefore, we must labor to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace (4:3). And, we must live in harmony as husbands and wives, because marriage ultimately concerns Christ and the church (5:32).

*You must be committed to God’s glory in the world. The will of the Lord through His church includes bringing the gospel to the lost so that they may be saved and incorporated into the church. In that way, His glory is manifested all over the earth, as former rebels are reconciled to God and to one another through the cross.

If you’re just living to get a good job, pay the bills, and enjoy selfish pursuits, with an occasional trip to church when it doesn’t interfere with your entertainment program, Paul calls you foolish. To walk carefully in this evil world, you must not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is and apply it to how you live each day.

Thus, to walk carefully in this evil day, you must use your time wisely and understand the will of the Lord. Thirdly,

3. To walk carefully, you must be filled with the Holy Spirit (5:18–21).

Paul gives another contrast (5:18), “And do not get drunk with wine, for that is dissipation, but be filled with the Spirit.” Grammatically, this is followed by five participles that show the results of being filled with the Spirit: speaking, singing, making melody, giving thanks, and being subject to one another. The first and the last relate to our behavior towards one another. The second, third, and fourth relate to our behavior towards the Lord. The last participle also serves to introduce and govern the section on relationships between husbands and wives, parents and children, and slaves and masters (5:22–6:9). I will go into more detail in future messages, but for now I can only skim over things.

1. To be filled with the Spirit means to be controlled by the Spirit (5:18).

Why does Paul somewhat abruptly interject the subject of drunkenness at this point? There are probably two main reasons (Martyn Lloyd-Jones, Life in the Spirit [Baker], p. 12): First, drunkenness and debauchery were characteristic of the futile, sensual lives from which the Ephesians had been saved and in which their contemporaries still lived. Paul is drawing a marked contrast between the old way of life and the new.

Second, he uses the analogy of wine and drunkenness to show that while there is a great contrast between being drunk with wine and being filled with the Spirit, there are also many similarities. Even as one filled with wine is under its influence, so the Christian should be under the control or influence of the Holy Spirit. Briefly, note two things about being filled with the Spirit:

(1). Being filled with the Spirit is ongoing and repeated.

The verb tense indicates, “Be continually filled.” As you study the examples in the New Testament, you learn that godly men were filled on more than one occasion (Acts 2:4; 4:8, 31; 9:17; 13:9, 52). The filling of the Spirit must be distinguished from the baptism of the Spirit. After the Day of Pentecost, the baptism of the Spirit is a one-time action that takes place at the moment you are saved, when you receive the Holy Spirit and are placed into the body of Christ (Rom. 8:9; 1 Cor. 12:13; Gal. 3:2, 5). Contrary to what many say, the baptism of the Spirit is not an experience subsequent to salvation that you are to seek. It is not an experience; it is a fact.

But the filling of the Spirit is a repeated experience that empowers us for godliness and service. It is essentially the same thing as walking by means of the Spirit (Gal. 5:16), which gives us victory over the flesh and produces the fruit of the Spirit in us. It should be the normative daily experience of every Christian.

(2). Being filled with the Spirit is commanded.

We are never commanded to be baptized with the Spirit, but we are commanded to be filled. We should take the positive command to be filled with the Spirit just as seriously as we take the negative command not to be drunk. If you are not being filled with the Spirit as an ongoing experience, you are disobeying God!

You ask, “How do I get filled with the Spirit?” To be filled with wine, you give yourself over to the wine and keep drinking. To be filled with the Spirit, yield yourself completely to Him and keep doing it! If being filled means being controlled, you must continually yield the control of your life to the Holy Spirit. When you realize that you’ve taken control again, confess that sin to God and yield again to the Spirit. If the Spirit reveals an area where you’re not yielding to Him, yield it instantly and ask Him to fill you. And, keep walking that way.

You may wonder, “How do you know if you’re filled with the Spirit?” Are you aware of some sin that you’re harboring in your heart? No. Are you consciously yielding control of your life to the Holy Spirit? Yes. Are you seeking His fullness by drinking in His Word and asking Him to conform you to the image of Christ? Yes. Then you must trust that He is filling you. But, don’t be complacent about it. Keep seeking Him for a greater manifestation of His fullness in your life. Paul here gives three results of being filled:

1. To be filled with the Spirit results in singing, thankfulness, and proper submission in our relationships (5:19–21).

I only have time to list these now, so we will come back to them in future messages. The participles here indicate the results of being filled by the Spirit (O’Brien, pp. 387–388). These may not be what we would have expected. We might have expected bold witness or speaking in tongues or miracles or something more dramatic. But Paul lists singing, thankfulness, and mutual submission.

The singing is two-dimensional: we instruct one another (Col. 3:16) and we make melody in our hearts to the Lord. The three different terms for songs indicate variety. Singing with our hearts to the Lord infers at least a measure of exuberance and joy.

Thankfulness is the opposite of grumbling and complaining. A thankful heart bows before God’s sovereign goodness in all things, even when we may not be able to understand His immediate purpose (Rom. 8:28; Gen. 50:20).

“Being subject to one another in the fear of Christ” raises all sorts of issues in this day of “evangelical feminism,” which maintains that this does away with all gender distinctions in the church and home. You’ll have to wait a few weeks until I can explain this in more detail. But for now I will say that it clearly does not mean that, since verse 24 instructs wives to be subject to their husbands, just as the church is to Christ (and Heb. 13:17 tells the church to obey its leaders and submit to them).

Rather, while not doing away with proper spheres of authority, “being subject to one another in the fear of Christ” means that we all must set aside our rights and serve one another in love. Christ had a right to remain in glory in heaven, but He willingly laid aside that right, took on the form of a servant, and was obedient even to death on the cross (Phil. 2:5–8). Even so, out of reverence for Him, we should have that same attitude, submitting ourselves to one another as we outdo one another in love.

Conclusion

Are you walking carefully in this evil world by using your time wisely for eternity, by understanding God’s will for the ages, and by being filled with the Holy Spirit? Do you see the results of the Spirit’s filling in joyous singing, a thankful heart, and in submitting yourself to serve others in love?

If you’re not walking carefully, you’re living dangerously! You’re adrift without rudder or power in dangerous waters! You’re wandering aimlessly in a minefield! Confess to the Lord your carelessness and coldness of heart. Ask Him to fill you with His Spirit. Commit to get into His Word regularly. Otherwise, you risk spiritual shipwreck!

Walking Wisely (Ephesians 5:15–17)

Billy Graham was asked what he was most surprised by in life. He answered, “Its brevity.” (Christianity Today [Oct., 2006], p. 90.) Graham has lived a relatively long life, but he still feels the sting of life’s shortness.

The older you get, the more you think about using your time wisely in light of eternity. You try to evaluate what really matters. Moses must have been feeling this when he wrote Psalm 90. He had spent his first 40 years as a son of Pharaoh’s daughter, living in the comfort of the palace. He spent his next 40 years as a fugitive shepherd, wandering around the Sinai Peninsula. He spent the last 40 years of his long life leading a rebellious bunch of Israelis out of slavery in Egypt, but not quite into the Promised Land.

As they were camped somewhere in the wilderness, shy of that goal, he wrote Psalm 90, reflecting on the brevity of life and the severity of God’s judgment. In verse 12 he prayed, “So teach us to number our days, that we may present to You a heart of wisdom.” He concluded the Psalm with the prayer (v. 17), “Let the favor of the Lord our God be upon us; and confirm for us the work of our hands; yes, confirm the work of our hands.” The poignant repetition of his final plea shows that even Moses was afraid that his life’s work would amount to nothing, unless God confirmed it, or [NASB margin] gave permanence to it.

Our text tells us how to walk wisely, so that we make the precious years that God allots to us count for His purpose and glory. There is a paradox in that God is the sovereign over time. He has a divine will (5:17) and He “works all things after the counsel of His will” (Eph. 1:11). And yet at the same time, He allots time to us to use responsibly to bring about His sovereign will. We must walk carefully and redeem the time that He gives us (5:15–16). To make your life count for eternity, you must give careful thought to how you spend your time.

When we think about being godly, we probably think about holiness in the moral realm. But do we think about being people of godly purpose? The fact that God is a God of purpose means that if we are to be like Him, we will be people of purpose in line with His purpose. Jesus lived to accomplish the Father’s purpose and knew that He had done so as His short life neared the end. He prayed (John 17:4), “I glorified You on the earth, having accomplished the work which You have given Me to do.” Jesus knew the Father’s purpose and He lived according to it. To be like Jesus, we must follow His example by being people of godly purpose.

The apostle Paul was also a man of godly purpose. He lived to exalt Christ and to know Him (Phil. 1:20–21; 3:8–16). He purposed to preach the gospel to the lost and to disciple the saved (1 Cor. 9:24–27; Col. 1:27–28). He told Timothy to discipline himself for the purpose of godliness (1 Tim. 4:7–8; see also, 2 Tim. 3:10). As he faced execution, Paul knew that he had fought the good fight, finished the course, and kept the faith (2 Tim. 4:7). In our text, he shows us how to walk wisely, so that we make the most of our lives in light of God’s will, His plan for the ages (5:17):

To walk wisely, you must know what God wants you to be, what dangers to avoid, and how to take advantage of the opportunities that God gives you.

1. To walk wisely, you must know what God wants you to be and how to get there.

Some popular TV preachers will tell you that God wants to help you fulfill your dreams. But that’s backwards, because it leaves you as the lord of your life and makes God your servant. The Bible is clear that God is the Sovereign and we are His servants. We exist to fulfill His will, not vice versa! So it is vital to know from Scripture, where does God want us to go with our lives? Much more could be said, but note these four things:

1. What God wants you to be:

(1). God wants you to please and glorify Him with your life.

As we saw in verse 10, we are “to learn what is pleasing to the Lord.” Colossians 1:10 says that we are “to please Him in all respects.” Paul said (2 Cor. 5:9) that his ambition was “to be pleasing to Him.” He wrote (1 Cor. 10:31), “Whether, then, you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” As the Westminster Shorter Catechism puts it, “The chief end of man is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever.” To glorify God, in simple terms, means to make Him look good, as He truly is. You extol, magnify, and exalt His person and attributes through praise, honor, thanksgiving, trust, and obedience. To do this requires a second goal:

(2). God wants you to know Him more deeply.

You can only extol, magnify, exalt, and glorify God to the extent that you truly know Him as He has revealed Himself in His Word. Martyn Lloyd-Jones often lamented that our chief problem as believers today is that we do not know God as deeply as we ought. Paul said that he counted everything else in life as loss and rubbish in order that he might know Christ (Phil. 3:7–8). The only way that we can know Him is as He has revealed Himself in His Word. So as you read the Bible over and over, from cover to cover (not just your favorite verses!), ask God to open your eyes so that you come to know Him more deeply. With Moses (Exod. 33:18), pray, “show me Your glory.”

(3). God wants you to be a godly person.

You can only glorify God to the extent that you display His holiness through your obedient life. As 1 Peter 1:14–16 puts it, “As obedient children, do not be conformed to the former lusts which were yours in your ignorance, but like the Holy One who called you, be holy yourselves also in all your behavior; because it is written, ‘You shall be holy, for I am holy.’” Jesus said (Matt. 5:6), “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.” To walk wisely, so that your life counts for eternity, ask God to give you that hunger and thirst after His righteousness. He promises that you will be blessed and satisfied when you pursue that course. Sin always brings pain and sorrow.

(4). God wants you to proclaim His excellencies by your life and words.

First Peter 2:9 says, “But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for God’s own possession, so that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him who has called you out of darkness into His marvelous light.” Or, as Paul has told us (Eph. 5:8), “you were formerly darkness, but now you are Light in the Lord; walk as children of Light.”

Thus God wants you to be growing in the direction of pleasing and glorifying Him with your life. You will do this as you come to know Him more deeply and grow in godly character. He wants to use your transformed life (from darkness to light) to display His excellencies, both by your behavior and your words as you bear witness to the saving grace of the Lord Jesus Christ.

1. How to get there:

Again, much more could be said, but note three things:

(1). You must discipline yourself for the purpose of godliness.

You can sit around wishing that you were godly for the next ten years, but it won’t happen! You must discipline yourself for the purpose of godliness (1 Tim. 4:7). In all of my years of pastoral ministry, I would say that the presence or absence of self-discipline is one of the most determinative factors in whether a person will do well or have serious problems in his Christian life. Self-control or discipline is a fruit of the Holy Spirit. (I must be brief here, but I devoted an entire message to it [12/31/2006, “Learning to Control Yourself”] if you want more.)

Paul compares discipline for godliness with physical exercise and the analogy is helpful in thinking about how to do it. The athlete sets a goal and then works hard to reach that goal. By definition, self-discipline means going against your feelings for a higher goal. The athlete wants to win, so he works out every day and controls his diet even when he doesn’t feel like it, so that he might win the prize. Also, discipline is an ongoing process and not a quick fix. You must set aside all hindrances, keep your eye on the goal, and manage your time in line with your goal.

Many Christians will hear this and say, “That sounds like legalism!” But it is not legalism if your motive is right. Sure, if your motive is to take pride in how spiritual you are because you had your quiet time, you’re being legalistic. But if your motive is to love and know God so that you might please Him because He saved you by His grace, that is not legalism. It is a fruit of the Holy Spirit who is working in your life to make you godly.

(2). Godly discipline includes the disciplined intake and application of God’s Word.

Paul says that we should walk as wise people, not as unwise. Proverbs 2:6 tells us where wisdom comes from: “For the Lord gives wisdom; from His mouth come knowledge and understanding.” He has given us His wisdom in the Bible and especially in the message of the cross (1 Cor. 1:18–25). To be a godly person who glorifies Him through your life, you must be getting a steady intake of His Word. As Psalm 1 pictures it, the godly man meditates on God’s Word day and night, so that he is like a tree planted by a river. His deep roots sustain him in times of drought. You should have a plan to read constantly and consecutively from both the Old and New Testaments. I also try to read a daily portion from the Psalms or Proverbs.

But note that I said, “the disciplined intake and application of God’s Word.” The bottom line for every portion of Scripture (even the genealogies!) is, “How should I then live?” How does this Scripture affect the way I should think, feel, behave, and relate to God and to others?

(3). You must learn to think biblically about all of life.

Walking wisely requires that you be a thinking person. But, not just thinking logically, but also thinking biblically. You should develop a biblical worldview, so that you filter news, movies, literature, moral issues, and all of life through a biblical grid. Both Francis Schaeffer and Martyn Lloyd-Jones did this well, and I commend their writings and their biographies to you.

Thus, to walk wisely, you must know where God wants you to go and how to get there. But there is another side to this:

2. To walk wisely, you must know what dangers to avoid.

Paul says that we are not to walk as unwise people, but as wise. We are to redeem the time, “because the days are evil.” He warns us not to be foolish, but to understand what the will of the Lord is. As we saw last week, the Lord’s will involves His purpose for the ages to sum up all things in Jesus Christ. If we don’t live in light of that purpose, we are foolish. Again, more could be said, but note three things that characterize unwise people:

1. Unwise people are oblivious to the dangers that fill evil days.

Certainly, all times are evil because the world is under the dominion of the evil prince of darkness (Eph. 2:2; 1 John 5:19). But it seems that some times and places are more evil than others are. The world I grew up in was evil, but you could not see sex scenes or hear profanity on television or even at the movies. But now it’s hard to find movies or even TV shows that are not filled with filth and profanity. This very day, our city is featuring a celebration of homosexuality as if it were normal and wonderful! We live in especially evil times!

Psalm 1:1 says, “How blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked, nor stand in the path of sinners, nor sit in the seat of scoffers.” Unwise people ignore such warnings and cavort with such people. Jesus said that we should pray that we not be led into temptation, but many believers play around with it as if it were a toy. In reality, it is a loaded gun.

1. Unwise people adopt the world’s relative system of morals and values.

As I said a couple of weeks ago, when you’re around a bad odor for a while, your nose adjusts and it no longer smells so bad. When you’re in an evil day, if you aren’t careful, after a while you don’t even notice how rotten things have become. After a while, even Christians absorb the world’s values. We think it’s okay to live together outside of marriage, especially if it saves money, because the world does so. We accept divorce for incompatibility, because after all, shouldn’t we be happy? We tolerate gambling as innocent fun, because there are casinos and state lottery tickets everywhere. We begin to look just like the world, except that we go to church occasionally. But Paul calls such behavior unwise and foolish.

1. Unwise people live for temporal fulfillment and pleasure.

In the Bible (especially in Proverbs), fools live for immediate gratification according to their feelings, impulses, and desires. Fools, like the rich man building bigger barns to store his goods, don’t think about the fact that today could be their last and then they face God and judgment. Fools don’t think about storing up treasures in heaven. They are focused completely on the here and now. In short, they do not understand the will of the Lord.

The Bible warns us about these and many other dangers that can sabotage our walking wisely with the Lord. To walk wisely, you must know what God wants you to be and how to get there. And, you must avoid the spiritual dangers of this evil day. Finally,

3. To walk wisely, you must take advantage of the opportunities that God gives you.

As we saw last time, “making the most of your time” is literally, “redeeming the opportunity.” The idea is, being alert to the spiritual opportunities that God brings your way, so that you grab them as a wise merchant grabs a bargain. The reason that you are alert to these opportunities is that you are living wisely, with a view to eternity and God’s kingdom. As Paul puts it (2 Cor. 4:18), “we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal.”

Here are a few of the opportunities that God will bring your way. If you’re wise, you’ll grab them:

*Bible intake—Read through your Bible each year. Listen to the Bible on CD’s while you drive. Study the Word in a more in-depth fashion. Take advantage of the many fine Bible teachers on the internet. Plug into our adult Sunday school or come on Sunday nights and interact on the sermon. The opportunities are abundant!

*Prayer—Pray with your mate. Join a home fellowship. Join us on Sunday evenings for prayer. Form your own small group for prayer. Pray through our directory.

*Reading good Christian books—Set a reading goal. I put on the church web site a bibliography for various areas of reading, plus another one for Christian biographies. If you’re currently reading no books per year, set a goal of two or three. If you meet that goal, up it to five or six. If you aim at nothing, you’re sure to hit it every time. So, aim at growing through reading.

*Discipleship—Take a newer believer under wing and help him to grow to maturity. Get into a Forum of Four and after you’ve been through one or two cycles, lead your own group. It will stretch you to grow!

*Witnessing—If you’ve never been trained in how to share your faith, go through the Evangelism Explosion or Way of the Master training that is offered here from time to time. Be ready to give a defense for the hope that is in you (1 Pet. 3:15). The jail ministry or the international student ministry can always use more workers.

*Sharing material blessings—If you are not consistently, faithfully giving more than a tithe, you’re probably not being a good steward by laying up treasures in heaven. You should give enough that it crimps your lifestyle, where you have to ask God to provide the extras for you.

*Helping others in practical ways—Take a meal to a family when the mom is in the hospital. Help an elderly person with yard cleanup or a ride. Cook or help clean up for the college ministry.

*Victory over sin—You will face strong temptations to sin, which can either be a time of testing your faith, where you grow through victory; or a time of defeat. Be prepared, be armed, and grow through the testing.

*Suffering—Suffering is an opportunity for ministry. As you trust in Christ and show His sufficiency through your trials, other believers will be strengthened and those who don’t know the Savior will be drawn to Him.

Conclusion

Luis Palau tells a story from one of his evangelistic crusades in Paraguay many years ago (Heart After God [Multnomah Press], pp. 114–116). At each crusade they set up family counseling centers, where people could come for spiritual help. They trained local people to work in them, teaching them how to lead people to Christ and how to deal with common problems.

At this crusade, a man named Jose who took the training could not even read or write. But he loved the Lord and he had a fantastic memory. He passed the training exams because he had memorized all the answers. But because he was illiterate, the training director asked the receptionist not to assign Jose to anyone who looked like a professional person.

One day all the counselors were busy when a very sharp looking gentleman walked in. He was obviously upper middle class. The only one left with no one to counsel was Jose. The receptionist got flustered, but Jose was alert. He walked up to this gentleman and said, “I’ll help you.” The receptionist was too bashful and embarrassed to say no.

So, Jose took this gentleman into a room, talked with him, and led him to Jesus Christ. He turned out to be a medical doctor. Meanwhile, the receptionist had gotten through to the training director and explained the situation. When the doctor and Jose walked out of the session, the training director greeted the doctor warmly, but just got a quick, “Hello.” He thought, “Jose must have blown that session.” So he told the receptionist, “The next time a distinguished looking gentleman comes in, make sure he is assigned to another counselor. Don’t give him to Jose. Even if I’m busy, call me anyway and I’ll take care of it.”

The next day the same doctor returned, with two men with him. These men were well-dressed, impressive looking men also. The center was busy, so the secretary rushed off to get the training director. He came out, turned on the charm and offered to help the man and his friends. But the man insisted that his friends talk alone with Jose.

So, they went and found illiterate Jose, and he took the men into a private room. Jose led the doctor’s two friends, who were also doctors, to faith in Christ! And, the next day, the three doctors brought a fourth man who was having family problems and illiterate Jose led that man to Christ! The next week, the doctors had a party and the only one from the counseling staff that they invited was humble, uneducated Jose.

While all of our times are in God’s hands (Ps. 31:15), He wants us to walk wisely, redeeming the time, in accordance with His sovereign will. No matter who you are, if you walk with Christ and grow wise through His Word, He can use you greatly for His eternal purpose.^[1]

^[1] Steven J. Cole, “Lesson 43: Walking Wisely (Ephesians 5:15–17),” in Ephesians, Steven J. Cole Commentary Series (Dallas: Galaxie Software, 2017), Eph 5:15–17.

But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints. 4 Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving. 5 For you may be sure of this, that everyone who is sexually immoral or impure, or who is covetous (that is, an idolater), has no inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God. 6 Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience.

The way that God designed our five senses so that they adjust to minimize harsh stimuli is amazing! Your eyes adjust to bright sunlight so that it doesn’t seem so bright or to a dark room so that it isn’t so dark. Your ears filter out certain noises so that you don’t even think about them. In large cities, our apartments/houses can be on a busy freeway. We got so used to the noise that it seemed weird to wake up in the middle of the night when it was quiet. Then a car would go by and we’d realize that the usual freeway noise was missing.

Your sense of smell works the same way. When I used to paint houses, the customers would come home and complain about the terrible smell of the paint. I honestly couldn’t smell anything, because I had grown used to the smell. The same thing happens with your sense of taste. Not many people like the taste of coffee at first. It’s too bitter. But after you develop a taste for it, the bitter tastes good. And, your sense of touch develops calluses so that what at first felt rough no longer bothers you.

Our spiritual senses also work like our physical senses, but with a crucial difference. While it is to our advantage in most cases to adjust to harsh physical stimuli, it is to our disadvantage spiritually. When we first hear of some terrible sin, we shrink back in horror and disgust. But if we are exposed to this sin repeatedly, so that it becomes commonplace, we tend to accept it or at least shrug it off.

Alexander Pope (1688–1744) saw this when he wrote (“Essay on Man,” in Familiar Quotations, by John Bartlett [Little, Brown, and Company], 13^th ed., p. 317), “Vice is a monster of so frightful appearance. As to be hated needs but to be seen; Yet seen too oft, familiar with her face, We first endure, then pity, then embrace.”

I fear that the American church is in grave danger of pitying or embracing the sexual immorality that has engulfed our nation. (From here on, this message is probably rated PG-13, although I’ll try to keep it to a PG rating!)

Twenty years ago, Leadership journal did a survey on sex and the American clergy. Of the church leaders responding to the survey, 20 percent said that they looked at sexually oriented media (print, video, or movies) at least once a month (Winter, 1988, p. 24). This was before the Internet made such material easily available in your own home or on your laptop computer when you travel! And 38 percent of these church leaders said they find themselves fantasizing about sex with someone other than their spouse at least once a month.

The same survey asked these church leaders, “Since you’ve been in local church ministry, have you ever done anything with someone (not your spouse) that you feel was sexually inappropriate?” Twenty-three percent answered yes. The inappropriate behavior was left undefined and could have ranged from unguarded words to flirtation to adultery. When asked specifically about adultery, 12 percent of church leaders answered yes (since entering local church ministry)! Leadership asked the same questions of readers of Christianity Today magazine who were not church leaders. The incidences of immorality were nearly double, with 45 percent indicating that they had done something inappropriate, and 23 percent admitting to extramarital sex (p. 12)!

Again, this survey is now 20 years old. I’m sure that the increases in the availability of pornography, along with the increasingly degrading content of movies and television, have not improved those statistics!

The statistics are truly frightening. Key Statistics

 Barna Group

• Reports that 57% of young adults (ages 18–24) seek out porn either daily, weekly, or monthly. This broader “regular use” measure includes several frequencies and suggests substantial overall engagement Barna Group.

AddictionHelp.com (2025)

• States that 57% of young adults aged 18–25 use porn monthly or more often. This is a recent figure and aligns closely with Barna’s results com.

Wikipedia (2023, Netherlands youth data)

• For a European comparison: among young men aged 22–24, 96% watched porn in the previous six months—a very high rate, but specific to the Netherlands context

Today the average teenage boy is likely to have seen thousands of explicit sexual images, ranging across the spectrum of sexualities and perversions. Many of these boys and young men are driven by sexual fantasies that previous generations of young men would not have even known existed…. Today Americans rent more than 800 million pornographic videos and DVD’s every year. About 20% of all video rentals are pornographic. At least 11,000 pornographic videos are produced annually, amounting to revenue for the adult film industry estimated at between 5 and 10 billion dollars a year….

Mohler also cites a November, 2003, “60 Minutes” report that many of the largest hotel chains, including Hilton, Marriott, Hyatt, Sheraton, and Holiday Inn, make most of their in-room profits from the sale of pay-per-view porn—with half of all guests purchasing erotic video products.

Since we’re all swimming in this filthy cesspool, the apostle Paul’s commands in our text become even more urgent, that as God’s saints, we eliminate sexual impurity from our thoughts, words, and deeds.

The reasons that he gives for his commands are not so that you will have a happy marriage (although eliminating this filth is an essential part of a happy marriage). Rather, he tells us that those who practice such things will not be in heaven, but will come under God’s wrath! Thus is it to your eternal advantage to understand and apply Paul’s words here. He is saying that…

The saints must not be immoral or greedy, but rather thankful, because the immoral and greedy will incur God’s wrath.

Verse 3 begins with “but,” drawing a contrast with the command to walk in love, just as Christ loved us and gave Himself up for us. He wants to make it clear that the love to which Christ calls us stands in stark contrast with the lust of the pagan world.

The Greco-Roman world of that day, including the city of Ephesus, was noted for moral corruption. The temple of Artemis offered ritual prostitution as part of its “worship.” Sexual promiscuity was commonplace.

The Emperor Nero was openly homosexual and was known to have been sexually involved with his own mother. So it was imperative for the church to be distinct from this immoral culture that was facing God’s judgment.

So that we all are perfectly clear, let me point out that being a moral person will not get you into heaven. Of course, none of us has been perfectly moral, because Jesus raised the standard to mental purity when He said that if we even look on a woman to lust, we have committed adultery with her in our hearts (Matt. 5:27–28).

But even if you can claim always to have been faithful to your spouse or to be chaste as a single person, it will not qualify you for heaven.

The task for the church is not to crusade to make our culture more moral, but rather to get people saved. God’s transforming our hearts is the basis for pleasing Him by a holy life. Paul makes three points:

1. God’s standard for moral purity is absolute, not relative, and thus is not debatable.

We live in a day when even most professing Christians deny that God’s moral standards are absolutely true and binding on all people in all cultures.

As far back as 1991 (and I’m sure the percentages have not improved since then!), only 23 percent of “born again” or “evangelical” Christians expressed a strong belief in absolute truth (from George Barna’s What Americans Believe, cited by James Dobson in a newsletter, Dec., 1991).

In our culture at large, 47 percent now approve of homosexuality, although that breaks down into 83 percent of liberals versus 23 percent of conservatives. Among liberals, 89 percent approve of sex between an unmarried man and woman; 33 percent of conservatives agree.

U.S. Public Opinion — Gallup (2015)

• A Gallup poll conducted in May 2015 found that 61% of Americans say having a baby outside of marriage is morally acceptable. This is the highest recorded level up to that point, following a steady increase from 54% in 2012 and just 48% between 2002 and 2004.com
• During the same period, the percentage saying it was morally wrong declined—from 50% in 2002 to 35% in 2015.PMC
• So: As of 2015, nearly two-thirds of Americans considered out-of-wedlock births to be morally acceptable.
• Having a baby out of wedlock is acceptable to 83 percent of liberals and 33 percent of conservatives (The Washington Times [6/5/2007], p. A6).

But God’s standards for moral purity are not up for popular vote!

Marriage: A covenant. Like all covenants it is intentional, though it is not magical nor mystical. It is a formal agreement between a man and a woman to be faithful, loving companions to one another for life. Vows of loyalty & faithfulness are exchanged.

Sexual privileges are included in marriage, however, marriage is not sex. A man may have sex with a prostitute and be “one flesh” with her, but that does not make them married.

Marriage is about companionship (Genesis 2.18, “it is not good for man to be alone”) and loyalty/faithfulness.

Fornication: Illicit sexual intercourse of all kinds, including heterosexual intercourse with anyone who is not one’s spouse, homosexual relations of all kinds (lesbian or gay), bisexual relations, incestuous relations, bestiality, etc.

The Greek word (porneia) is the word we get “pornography” from. Thus, this may include sexual gratification through internet pornography viewing.

Like with all vows, God expects us to keep the vows we make (Numbers 30.2; Ecclesiastes 5.4).

He designed the sexual relationship for a man and a woman in a lifelong committed marriage. When practiced within these boundaries, it is a good gift from God, not something dirty. He gave us His commandments for our good.

When we violate His standards, it results in short term pleasure (that’s why we’re tempted to do it), but long term pain and problems. Keeping God’s commandments is often difficult in the short term, but deeply fulfilling in the long term.

1. God’s standard includes moral purity in thought, speech, and behavior.

(1). Immorality

This is the Greek word porneia, which refers to any type of sexual immorality. It includes premarital sex, extramarital sex, incest, homosexuality, bestiality, and the use of pornography. Any sex outside of the lifelong commitment of marriage is not rooted in love (as I defined it in our last study, “a self-sacrificing, caring commitment that shows itself in seeking the highest good of the one loved”), but in lust. Outside of marriage, sex devolves into using the other person for your own gratification.

(2). Impurity

This word means “dirty” or “impure,” and was used to refer to the pus around an infected wound. In the moral realm, it refers to that which contaminates others and is repulsive and disgusting. Paul used it in 4:19 to refer to the ungodly behavior of the Gentiles, who had “given themselves over to sensuality for the practice of every kind of impurity with greediness.”

(3). Greed

As in 4:19, Paul lists greed right beside sexual sins and in 5:5 he equates it with idolatry (cf. Col. 3:5). The greedy man has a lust for more, whether it is money, material possession, or sexual conquests. Greed is motivated by selfish pleasure apart from God. It is idolatry because it seeks to find pleasure in something other than God, while rejecting God’s commandments. Sex outside of marriage is always based on greed, because its goal is to exploit the other person for your advantage, not to enrich her.

Paul says (5:3) that these three sins are “not even [to] be named among you, as is proper among saints.” Rather, he means that these sins should be unknown among Christians.

We should not be feeding our minds on these sins by watching movies or TV programs that depict them. We should not read juicy accounts of sexual sin in the press. Certainly, we should not view pornography in any form. As Paul says (Rom. 16:19b), “but I want you to be wise in what is good and innocent in what is evil.”

(4). Filthiness

This refers to any indecency, obscenity, or shameful thing. It comes from the same word root as “disgraceful” (5:12).

Thus God’s standard is absolute and it includes moral purity in thought, speech, and behavior.

1. God’s standard must be your standard as a saint.

Sexual purity is not an infrequent theme in Paul’s letters. He mentions purity or warns about immorality in Romans (1, 13); 1 Corinthians (5, 6, 7, 10); 2 Corinthians (6, 7, 12); Galatians (5); Ephesians (4, 5); Colossians (3); 1 Thessalonians (4); 1 Timothy (1, 3, 4, 5), 2 Timothy (3); and Titus (1, 2, 3).

Since all of these letters are addressed to professing Christians in the church, God intends that you as a Christian be reminded of and be on guard against the sexual temptation that tempts us all.

We must model and teach God’s standard to our children.

A 1996 survey revealed that 46 percent of Michigan fifth-graders and 55 percent of eighth-graders had engaged in sex! The study showed that sex is far more common among both age groups than alcohol or drug use.

The leader of the study speculated that the high rates of intercourse could likely be attributed to television exposure (in World [6/8–15, 1996], p. 10). As far back as 1988, Josh McDowell did a survey that showed that 43 percent of 18-year-old church-attending youths had had sexual intercourse. When you broaden it to “acts of sexual intimacy,” the number went up to 65 percent among church high school seniors.

If these statistics alarm you (and they should, especially if you’re rearing children), you must model and teach your children the ways of the Lord. Don’t assume that the church will do the job, although we want to back you up.

It’s your job, not just to tell your kids that sex outside of marriage is wrong, but also to explain the wholesomeness of sex as God designed it.

You must have an open relationship where your kids can share their own struggles and temptations without fear of an angry tirade. You also must protect your family from harmful influences. Don’t watch R-rated (or most PG-13) movies. Don’t watch filthy TV shows.

Don’t have trashy magazines that tell about all of the movie stars’ latest sexual escapades lying around the house.

Also, teach (and set the example for) your daughters to dress modestly (1 Tim. 2:9), as young women who want to please the Lord.

To speak directly to you young women, you are not helping your brothers to moral purity when you dress seductively. Tight fitting, low-cut tops or low-riding pants that show off your mid-section are designed by the world to turn guys on. Scripture is clear that you are not to set a stumbling-block before your brothers. Please, ignore the world’s sensuous fashions and dress in a manner that pleases the Lord. Paul’s first point is clear: Christians must not be immoral or greedy.

2. The alternative to immorality and greed is to give thanks (5:4a).

You would think that Paul would say that we are to replace sexual impurity with purity. That is true, of course, and he will state that (5:9–11). But here, he says that the alternative to sexual immorality and greed is to give thanks. Why does he say that? What does thankfulness have to do with moral purity? A lot!

If you read Paul’s account of the degradation of the human race in Romans 1:18–32, at the root of it was (1:21), “they did not honor Him as God or give thanks.”

If you’re single and burning with sexual desire, pray for a mate (1 Cor. 7:1–9). If you’re married, thank God for the mate that He has given you and work on your relationship. By the way, sexual satisfaction in marriage is very closely tied with relational intimacy. God designed it that way.

So to guard yourself against the temptation of adultery, guard your relationship with your mate. Work at it constantly. Develop a thankful heart for all of God’s blessings, including the sexual relationship in marriage.

3. The immoral and greedy will not be in God’s kingdom, but will incur His wrath (5:5–6).

Paul makes two points here:

1. You know for certain that no immoral or greedy person will have an inheritance in God’s kingdom (5:5).
2. Don’t let anyone deceive you about such things, because the end result is God’s wrath (5:6).

Conclusion

In 1 Corinthians 6:9–10, Paul makes a similar point: “Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, will inherit the kingdom of God.”

But, don’t stop reading there, or you might despair if you have committed any of those sins! He continues (6:11), “And such were some of you; but you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and in the Spirit of our God.”

Praise God! There is hope for every sinner at the cross!

Here’s a research overview on pornography use among young teens (adolescents), based on recent scholarly work. The evidence shows that exposure to pornography during adolescence is increasingly common, with implications for sexual development, mental health, and relationships.

📊 Collective Insights

1. Prevalence: A majority of adolescents encounter pornography by mid-teens, often unintentionally at first. Boys report higher rates of use than girls, but girls are increasingly affected.
2. Psychological Impacts: Frequent use is associated with higher risk of addiction-like behaviors, body dissatisfaction, and distorted expectations of sex and relationships.
3. Social Effects: Pornography use correlates with risky sexual behaviors, sexting, and negative gender attitudes, especially when exposure starts early.
4. Brain Development: Neurological studies suggest pornography use in teens may affect reward and impulse-control systems, similar to substance addiction.
5. Help-Seeking & Risks: Adolescents rarely seek help for problematic pornography use, with boys especially underrepresented in support services.
6. Cultural Variation: Impacts differ by gender, culture, and family background—suggesting tailored prevention strategies are needed.
7. Protective Factors: Open communication with parents, comprehensive sex education, and digital literacy programs reduce harmful impacts.

1. Prevalence

• Early exposure (often accidental)
• Higher use among boys
• Increasing among girls

2. Psychological Impacts

• Addiction-like behaviors
• Body dissatisfaction
• Distorted sexual expectations
• Anxiety & depressive symptoms

3. Social Effects

• Risky sexual behaviors
• Sexting
• Negative gender attitudes
• Peer pressure & normalization

4. Brain Development

• Alters reward pathways
• Impulse-control challenges
• Similarities to substance addiction

5. Help-Seeking & Risks

• Rarely seek help
• Boys underrepresented in services
• Stigma & silence

6. Cultural Variation

• Gender differences in perception & impact
• Influence of family background
• Cultural & religious attitudes

7. Protective Factors

• Open parent–child communication
• Comprehensive sex education
• Digital/media literacy programs
• Healthy peer & community support

📚 Key Academic Sources

1. Maas, M. K., Wright, P. J., & Rothman, E. F. (2024). Pornography use during adolescence: The current state of knowledge and recommendations. In Handbook of Children and Screens (pp. 356–379). Springer. PDF
   – Reviews prevalence, impacts, and interventions.
2. Huang, M. (2025). The impact of internet pornography addiction on brain function: a functional near-infrared spectroscopy study. Frontiers in Human Neuroscience. Link
   – Shows similarities between pornography addiction and drug addiction in teens’ brain activity.
3. Vertongen, R., & van Ommen, C. (2025). Young adolescent men’s perspectives on risks and harmful impacts of pornography use. New Media & Society. PDF
   – Explores how teen boys perceive harm from pornography.
4. Nelson, K. M., & Weigle, P. (2024). Pornography Use During Adolescence. In Well-Being from Birth Through Adolescence. Book
   – Links pornography use with adolescent mental health outcomes.
5. Toor, G., & Segal, T. (2025). Don’t forget the boys: service evaluation of adolescent male health needs. Archives of Disease in Childhood, 110(Suppl 1). PDF
   – Notes increasing pornography use and sexual dysfunction in adolescent boys.
6. Hartselle, S., Deol, Y., & Miselis, K. (2025). Media Representation of Boys. Child and Adolescent Psychiatric Clinics. Abstract
   – Examines gender differences in teen pornography use.
7. Keikha, M., Ebrahimi, M. H., & Dianati-Nasab, M. (2024). Interventions to prevent or reduce unhealthy habits in children and adolescents during restricted conditions. Frontiers in Public Health. PDF
   – Evaluates interventions addressing problematic pornography use.
8. Harris, D. A., & Bodker, A. (2024). Help-Seeking Behaviors of Young People with Problematic Sexualized Behaviors. Journal of Child Sexual Abuse. PDF
   – Documents challenges in adolescent help-seeking for problematic pornography use.